Monday, April 6, 2009

Saving a Marriage is Easier Without a Marriage

Most people think saving a marriage is a pretty complex affair, but it isn't. Imagine if somebody gave you the keys to a car before you ever learned to drive. That's what it was like for you and most people when you got married. People just expect you to know what to do. Isn't that amazing, in a world where we have manuals for virtually everything, and we spend years learning how to do simple math and English, everyone just goes ahead and gets married without any real education. The divorce statistics are a pretty good indicator of how stupid we are as a people when it comes to educating ourselves about marriage. To make matters worse when things start going bad we turn to people who are educated way beyond their intelligence, the western psychologists.

An MBA from Harvard wouldn't pretend he knows how to start and run a company just because he was educated. A Harvard MBA is smart enough to rely on tried and true executives for his or her final education. The tried and true executive would be a proven commodity because of the results of previous business endeavors. The incompetents who call themselves marriage counselors have such a dismal record of saving marriages they would be laughed out of their roles if they were in any other business. Imagine an appliance repairman telling you he thinks he could help you but so far he has only helped fix about 10% of the appliances he's been asked to repair. No one in their right mind would call that guy again. The psychologists are able to hide behind all sorts of excuses for not being able to help married couples save their marriages; it's horrible.

If you're still thinking of calling a marriage counselor here are some questions you should ask them:


1. What is the definition of a marriage?

2. What is the biggest killer of a marriage?

3. What are the most important things I can do to help my marriage be happy?

4. What process do you use to teach me the above?

5. How long will it take you to teach me the above?

6. Will I still have trouble with our marriage after I learn the above?


I can assure you when you place your call to a marriage counselor and ask the above questions you will hear more hemming and hawing than you have ever heard in your life. So let me give you a head start. Obviously I can't get into much detail in one little article, but hopefully you will see there is more than just a little hope for your marriage.

There actually are answers to the above questions, all of them:


1. Marriage is a sacred and spiritual space in which you can raise a healthy and happy family and find refuge from a hostile world.

2. The biggest killer of virtually every marriage is over familiarity.

3. Treat your spouse as the most important person who has ever lived.

4. There is a manual, Lessons For A Happy Marriage, that contains everything you need to know.

5. As long as it takes you to read the manual, probably days.

6. Anything is possible but I've never seen it happen.


I don't want to challenge you to call a marriage counselor because you'll only waste your money if you see one, but by all means suit yourself. Just be careful. If they knew what they were doing we wouldn't have the divorce rate we have in our country. On the other hand don't waste too much time looking around. You deserve to have a happy marriage right now, you really do.

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About the Author:

Paul Friedman’s entry into the business of helping couples mend their marriages began with a very rough personal experience with divorce. Paul came out of an early retirement to become a mediator. His belief was that couples could easily work out the details of separation and get on with their lives. He discovered the truth from his clients:they only sought divorce because the help they found to stay together didn't work.

Read more relationship advice at Lessons For a Happy Marriage.com

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/saving-a-marriage-is-easier-without-a-marriage-716926.html

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