by: Wendy Stenberg-Tendys
Mary Kay Letourneau, thirty-year old teacher grabbed headlines in 1997 when she pleaded guilty to the criminal act of statutory rape (rape of a child) of 12 year-old student Vili Fualaau, who Letourneau said was her ‘soul mate’. At the time Fualaau’s father was serving a prison sentence for armed robbery.
Letourneau confessed at her trial she had done wrong and asked for assistance. She served three months of her sentence, before being put on probation and enrolled in a three-year sex offender treatment program. However, only one month later she was caught having sex with the teenager. It appeared the couple were secretly planning to skip the country.
Letourneau's probation was cancelled and she was returned to jail, where it was discovered she was carrying the student's second child. In November 1999, Letourneau was thrown into six months of solitary confinement for attempting to smuggle letters to Fualaau.
Fualaau's family sued the Highline School and city of Des Moines, Washington, in 2002 for emotional suffering, lost wages and the costs of rearing his two children. He said the school had not protected him from Letourneau. The jury sided with the defendant's lawyer in that 'Nothing would keep Letourneau and Fualaau apart'.
Letourneau finished her 7.5 year sentence, the maximum for child rape, with no time off for good behaviour. In 2004, Superior Court Jude Linda Lau, finally lifted the injunction she had enforced on the couple and permitted them to once again see each other. The couple got married on May 20th 2005, when a criminal seduction ended in a tightly guarded ceremony. Their two daughters acting as flower girls. Exclusive access to the wedding was sold to the television show Entertainment Tonight.
The four children from Letourneau's first marriage remained with their father. Her two younger children under the ruling of the court, still live with their grandmother.
John Schmitz, Mary's father, also caused a scandal when his long-term affair with a former student was revealed. He fathered two children to the student. Mary also went through marital problems when her first husband, Steve Letourneau indulged in numerous extramarital affairs.
Not only did Letourneau sell the rights to their wedding photos, but wrote a book about their 'love affair'. Now the couple are hosting a 'Hot for Teacher Night', in a Seattle bar.
Letourneau will always be registered as a sex offender.
About The Author
Dr Wendy Stenberg-Tendys and her husband are CEO's of YouMe Support Foundation (http://youmesupport.org) providing high school education grants for children who are without hope. Take a few minutes to check it all out at Win A Resort (http://winareosrt.com)
Feel free to contact Wendy on admin@youmesupport.org
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/women/article_3036.shtml
Main internet source about love, marriage, married, tips, online, online tips, advice, intimacy, happines, divorce, relationship, true love, dating, dating online, healthy sexual life
Showing posts with label true. Show all posts
Showing posts with label true. Show all posts
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
The True Secret of Marriage
For marriage to become a success, it is vital to engage the right gear. There are so many things you can do to enhance your marriage and make an example for others to admire. To be happy, you need to have a few secrets that will ensure that you keep your marriage in a position where you want it to be. The following are secrets of a happy marriage. First, it is vital that you understand that it is alright to be angry. Being angry is not the cause of problems in many marriages, however, the way you react to being angry will make all the difference. You need to realize when you are angry and when you are not. For this reason, you will learn never to make decisions in this state. There are so many couples who mention divorce or separation when they are angry. Many have broken up for this reason and, when you think of the cause of the break up, you find that things could have been different. Therefore, it does not matter what you are angry about, you need to take it easy and make decisions or comments when you are ready to take the consequences. This is a secret of marriage that you need to have in the back of your mind at all times. Many people become violent on the onset of anger, others have even killed their wives and, this is a very bad thing.
I cannot insist enough that you need to make this a priority in your life. The other secret of marriage is to understand that you might disagree but you are not enemies. In other words, marriage does not have to be a place where you see eye to eye in everything. There are times where you differ greatly but, you do not have to make this personal. Others have killed each other in moments of disagreement. If you truly have a bond that you want to work on, you need to keep each other first and other issues second. The other thing never to do when you are in an argument is to use something that was told to you in confidence. In other words, do not reveal things that will make the situation worse than it already is. Your intentions will just be to hurt your spouse and not to find a solution. Therefore, argue but keep calm; nobody ever gets through to people by being angry.
It is also vital for couples never to leave an argument hanging. You must come to the conclusion or agree on what to do or when to bring up the matter. Walking out of the room without exploring the matter to a conclusive stage will only make things worse. You might decide to take a break from the topic and this is perfectly okay; as long as you agree. This is not always easy to do but, with the right attitude, you will be in a position to drive your marriage in a direction that can only make you a winner. The other secret of marriage is to make clear what you want. Some partners speak in sign language because they think that their partner will understand. This is not always fair and, you need to make sure you are clear. Your spouse is your best friend and, you need to confide in them and trust that they shall do the best for you. You need loads of wisdom to know how to be humble and loving to your partner. At the end of the day, this is all they need.
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About the Author:
I cannot insist enough that you need to make this a priority in your life. The other secret of marriage is to understand that you might disagree but you are not enemies. In other words, marriage does not have to be a place where you see eye to eye in everything. There are times where you differ greatly but, you do not have to make this personal. Others have killed each other in moments of disagreement. If you truly have a bond that you want to work on, you need to keep each other first and other issues second. The other thing never to do when you are in an argument is to use something that was told to you in confidence. In other words, do not reveal things that will make the situation worse than it already is. Your intentions will just be to hurt your spouse and not to find a solution. Therefore, argue but keep calm; nobody ever gets through to people by being angry.
It is also vital for couples never to leave an argument hanging. You must come to the conclusion or agree on what to do or when to bring up the matter. Walking out of the room without exploring the matter to a conclusive stage will only make things worse. You might decide to take a break from the topic and this is perfectly okay; as long as you agree. This is not always easy to do but, with the right attitude, you will be in a position to drive your marriage in a direction that can only make you a winner. The other secret of marriage is to make clear what you want. Some partners speak in sign language because they think that their partner will understand. This is not always fair and, you need to make sure you are clear. Your spouse is your best friend and, you need to confide in them and trust that they shall do the best for you. You need loads of wisdom to know how to be humble and loving to your partner. At the end of the day, this is all they need.
----------
About the Author:
Francis K. Githinji Is An Online Dating Expert. His Latest ProjectSecret Of Marriage Shows How The Power Of Online Dating Can Be Harnessed Internationally and With Great Success, Or You Could Post Your Valued Comments On His Blog At Secret Of Marriage
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/the-true-secret-of-marriage-637486.html
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
True love and love for all
By: Shweeta Bhandari
For a small word, Love has tremendous meaning. And, for a word with so many different degrees, it is difficult to give it a specific definitely. The most common use of the word Love is when we are speaking about our deep affection for our families, children, spouses, close relationships and pets. Sometimes we use the word to describe when we really enjoy something we are doing like, "I love rock climbing" or "I love my job as a motivational speaker." We may also use it to describe a deep emotional connection with another person when we say we are "in love".
Think about all of the wonderful memories and feelings that you have connected with the word Love. The deep bond of comfort and admiration you have for your parents, the protectiveness you feel for your child or the flutter in your heart that you experience when you are in the presence of your soul mate. The feeling of Love can be triggered by a look, a kiss, or a touch and can be felt as calming warmth or exciting electricity. However, wherever, or whenever you experience Love, it is a gift to be shared with the world.
We all have Love within us that we share with others, however we often forget about loving ourselves. There is a very fine line of distinction that can become grey to a child learning how to practice self-love. In addition, because it is difficult to explain the subtle nuances that differentiate between arrogance and vanity, and self-love and self-respect, it is often lost is a battle of mixed emotions as we grow up. It is often too easy to fall into patterns that put ourselves last or neglect some of our own needs and desires in order to assist others in achieving their dreams. However, in order to truly experience love and receive it from anyone else, it is critical to love yourself. Give yourself some personal time to discover your likes and dislikes, and to pursue your passion. Maybe you want to take an hour a day for yourself to read a book or write a screenplay, or even to meditate. You are worth it! Take the time to enjoy life; love life. This will open the door to wonderful experiences.
This small word can be quite illusive. Some people spend their entire lives searching for it, others think they have found it, and others still say that had it and lost it. However, Love is something within us. Until we love ourselves, we are incapable of truly being in love with someone else. What a great revelation this is! This new perspective allows us to open ourselves to receive love from many different sources. Talking about love and not talking about love quotes and love poems? means that we are missing something.
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Shweeta Bhandari has been one of the renowned writer in the field of poems, quotes, love, romance, friendship, relationships, expressing of thoughts and ideas. She is a professional content writer working for http://www.best-quotes-poems.com
Article Source: http://www.ArticleBiz.com
For a small word, Love has tremendous meaning. And, for a word with so many different degrees, it is difficult to give it a specific definitely. The most common use of the word Love is when we are speaking about our deep affection for our families, children, spouses, close relationships and pets. Sometimes we use the word to describe when we really enjoy something we are doing like, "I love rock climbing" or "I love my job as a motivational speaker." We may also use it to describe a deep emotional connection with another person when we say we are "in love".
Think about all of the wonderful memories and feelings that you have connected with the word Love. The deep bond of comfort and admiration you have for your parents, the protectiveness you feel for your child or the flutter in your heart that you experience when you are in the presence of your soul mate. The feeling of Love can be triggered by a look, a kiss, or a touch and can be felt as calming warmth or exciting electricity. However, wherever, or whenever you experience Love, it is a gift to be shared with the world.
We all have Love within us that we share with others, however we often forget about loving ourselves. There is a very fine line of distinction that can become grey to a child learning how to practice self-love. In addition, because it is difficult to explain the subtle nuances that differentiate between arrogance and vanity, and self-love and self-respect, it is often lost is a battle of mixed emotions as we grow up. It is often too easy to fall into patterns that put ourselves last or neglect some of our own needs and desires in order to assist others in achieving their dreams. However, in order to truly experience love and receive it from anyone else, it is critical to love yourself. Give yourself some personal time to discover your likes and dislikes, and to pursue your passion. Maybe you want to take an hour a day for yourself to read a book or write a screenplay, or even to meditate. You are worth it! Take the time to enjoy life; love life. This will open the door to wonderful experiences.
This small word can be quite illusive. Some people spend their entire lives searching for it, others think they have found it, and others still say that had it and lost it. However, Love is something within us. Until we love ourselves, we are incapable of truly being in love with someone else. What a great revelation this is! This new perspective allows us to open ourselves to receive love from many different sources. Talking about love and not talking about love quotes and love poems? means that we are missing something.
-------
Shweeta Bhandari has been one of the renowned writer in the field of poems, quotes, love, romance, friendship, relationships, expressing of thoughts and ideas. She is a professional content writer working for http://www.best-quotes-poems.com
Article Source: http://www.ArticleBiz.com
Finding True Love through a Free Online Dating Service
By: Alan Lim
FREE Online dating service is a very convenient and easy way to meet people who can become potential partners. Know more about finding true love in the Internet through this article.
Free online dating service sites are great channels where singles can look for potential lifetime partners. The Internet can be a very convenient place to find romance. In fact, those who are currently using a free online dating service can attest to this. However, despite their popularity, many people are still apprehensive about trying them out.
Modern technology has improved our lives in many ways. One of the aspects it has done so is in enhancing the ways for us to find old-fashioned romance. However, there is a growing misconception that a free online dating service seems to focus mainly on superficial relationships and immediate gratification.
It is true that for a good old romance to progress, both parties should further nurture the relationship to a more personal level. This takes some time to develop. However, with the fast-paced wonders of technology, it is virtually impossible for a free online Internet dating service not to provide an easy and quick means to establish a relationship.
Do not get the wrong idea, though. There are people who successfully find their mate through ｆfree online dating service sites. There are thousands of successful marriages and relationships which have developed for singles who found each other through free online dating service sites. To be able to succeed just like them, you have to exert some effort in getting to know the person you are interested in. You should have a means to communicate in a more personal level in order to nourish the relationship. It is only by establishing a strong foundation that you can increase your chances for a healthy, long lasting relationship.
Remember too that a free online dating service is just like looking for someone in a nightclub or a bar. There are those who are looking for long-term companionship just as there are those looking for immediate gratification. If you want to find true love, you might have to exert a little more effort in looking for one.
It may not be easy at first, as there are thousands and thousands of individuals to choose from. You need to look through lots of profile and search for those who match your preferences. From there, you will need to narrow down your choices to include only those who have the same objectives as you have. Once you have narrowed down your choices, you have to send an email or two in order to introduce yourself, and wait whether the other party is interested or not. In the same way, you need to build a winning profile in order to attract attention of people who might potentially be a good mate.
If you are serious about finding a life-time partner and an old-fashioned romance, a free online dating service can be a very good option. There is no means to meet a wide number of people as conveniently as these dating services. It may also be wise to opt for other channels at the same time. The more options you allow yourself to have, the more chances you have of finding a good partner who will last a lifetime.
Yes, you can find your true love online! What are you waiting for? Sign up for free now by visiting FREE Online Dating Service or Online Dating Service.
Article Source: http://www.ArticleBiz.com
FREE Online dating service is a very convenient and easy way to meet people who can become potential partners. Know more about finding true love in the Internet through this article.
Free online dating service sites are great channels where singles can look for potential lifetime partners. The Internet can be a very convenient place to find romance. In fact, those who are currently using a free online dating service can attest to this. However, despite their popularity, many people are still apprehensive about trying them out.
Modern technology has improved our lives in many ways. One of the aspects it has done so is in enhancing the ways for us to find old-fashioned romance. However, there is a growing misconception that a free online dating service seems to focus mainly on superficial relationships and immediate gratification.
It is true that for a good old romance to progress, both parties should further nurture the relationship to a more personal level. This takes some time to develop. However, with the fast-paced wonders of technology, it is virtually impossible for a free online Internet dating service not to provide an easy and quick means to establish a relationship.
Do not get the wrong idea, though. There are people who successfully find their mate through ｆfree online dating service sites. There are thousands of successful marriages and relationships which have developed for singles who found each other through free online dating service sites. To be able to succeed just like them, you have to exert some effort in getting to know the person you are interested in. You should have a means to communicate in a more personal level in order to nourish the relationship. It is only by establishing a strong foundation that you can increase your chances for a healthy, long lasting relationship.
Remember too that a free online dating service is just like looking for someone in a nightclub or a bar. There are those who are looking for long-term companionship just as there are those looking for immediate gratification. If you want to find true love, you might have to exert a little more effort in looking for one.
It may not be easy at first, as there are thousands and thousands of individuals to choose from. You need to look through lots of profile and search for those who match your preferences. From there, you will need to narrow down your choices to include only those who have the same objectives as you have. Once you have narrowed down your choices, you have to send an email or two in order to introduce yourself, and wait whether the other party is interested or not. In the same way, you need to build a winning profile in order to attract attention of people who might potentially be a good mate.
If you are serious about finding a life-time partner and an old-fashioned romance, a free online dating service can be a very good option. There is no means to meet a wide number of people as conveniently as these dating services. It may also be wise to opt for other channels at the same time. The more options you allow yourself to have, the more chances you have of finding a good partner who will last a lifetime.
Yes, you can find your true love online! What are you waiting for? Sign up for free now by visiting FREE Online Dating Service or Online Dating Service.
Article Source: http://www.ArticleBiz.com
Monday, March 16, 2009
Central American Midwives - A True Labour of Love
by: Catherine Cunningham
There is no doubt that midwives worldwide are very special people. They possess a unique ability to care for women and newborns and it takes a distinctive set of skills to qualify for the job. More than 60% of the world’s babies are helped into the world with the hands of a midwife or traditional birth attendant. In Central America, midwives are generally referred to as “traditional midwives”.
Central American traditional midwives are usually well known and respected in their community. Many traditional midwives say they felt a calling to be a midwife and learned their skills through apprenticeship and experience rather than formal training.
But Central American midwives have a tougher job on their hands than their counterparts in wealthier countries. In countries such as Guatemala, Honduras, Costa Rica, Nicaragua and El Salvador midwives can often be found working under appalling conditions, depending on how unstable their country’s health system is, and the majority of these women do not get paid for their hard work.
PAHO (Pan American Health Organization) estimates that there are about 22,000 maternal deaths per year in Latin America and the Caribbean with an aggregate ratio of 190 deaths per 100,000 births. PAHO also estimates that under-reporting in many regions can be as high as 70%.
In Central America, traditional midwives attend most of the deliveries where the maternal mortality is the highest due to poverty. The contribution of traditional midwives to the health of nations has been undervalued by governments and insufficient resources have been allocated to providing midwives with the equipment, training and medicines that they need to carry out their job safely and effectively.
In April 2004, a group of midwives from these five countries took a ground-breaking step by coming together in Costa Rica to share their experiences as midwives in their respective countries. Their tales reflect their love and devotion to their work, and their ongoing commitment to the many women they have helped through childbirth.
They tell their stories of how unjust their health systems are and share harrowing accounts of health care systems which fail its people.
Central American Midwives, the charitable organization that funded this assembly, produced a DVD depicting these women’s stories. In the documentary, one of the Nicaraguan midwives, Doña Alicia, compares the care the traditional midwives give to the impersonal care of the local hospital; “The midwife offers love and trust and confidence and she doesn’t do it mechanically like the nurses and doctors. However, I don’t mean to offend these health care workers, who do the best job they can. For example, a woman goes to have her baby in a hospital. In the room she will find a nurse, a person who cleans and another woman in the next bed to her. The doctor arrives and says "let’s see lady, open your legs", and the woman feels ashamed. On the other hand if a midwife attends this woman in the privacy of her own home, the woman experiences trust.”
Doña Alicia went on to say that she didn’t want to offend the doctors because they do offer good care when they are needed. But that they do not possess the kindness of a midwife, and often lack the patience the midwife has.
Josefa Mira, a midwife from El Salvador, explained that the midwives are constantly monitoring the progress of the labour and when a complication presents itself they organize immediate transfer to a hospital. “And we don’t only care for women of the community during pregnancy and birth”, she said. “We also look after the general health of women and their families, domestic violence and all the illnesses that are common in our communities.”
However, lack of transport is a major problem in most areas and women in high-risk conditions often cannot be moved to a hospital for medical help due to this dilemma. The same problem exists if there are not enough basic medicines to treat disease in pregnancy.
The Central American Midwives plea is to be recognized and accepted for the value of their knowledge, to work as a team with health care services, to be adequately trained and equipped, and rightfully compensated. This issue needs to be recognised as an important, pressing matter.
Let us help those who bear the hands that hold our future generations. Let us help the Central American Midwife Crisis.
Guatemalan midwife María Cecilia says; “What I would like most for our country Guatemala is health for everyone, that having a baby would become safer, that we would have safe and healthy childbirth, and that society would give importance to mothers and the work of mothers. When we are expecting our babies we should feel cared for and receive love. And the other thing I wish for is that one day midwives would really be part of the health care system and have a salary that we can enjoy.”
To order your copy of this inspirational, educational DVD or for more information on Central American Midwives, contact http://central-american-midwives.org
-------------
About The Author
Catherine Cunningham is a copywriter based in Costa Rica. She works full time for a web design company and writes articles and site content for clients. You can contact her on catherine@unidad22.com
This article can be re-used if the author's name is acknowledged.
There is no doubt that midwives worldwide are very special people. They possess a unique ability to care for women and newborns and it takes a distinctive set of skills to qualify for the job. More than 60% of the world’s babies are helped into the world with the hands of a midwife or traditional birth attendant. In Central America, midwives are generally referred to as “traditional midwives”.
Central American traditional midwives are usually well known and respected in their community. Many traditional midwives say they felt a calling to be a midwife and learned their skills through apprenticeship and experience rather than formal training.
But Central American midwives have a tougher job on their hands than their counterparts in wealthier countries. In countries such as Guatemala, Honduras, Costa Rica, Nicaragua and El Salvador midwives can often be found working under appalling conditions, depending on how unstable their country’s health system is, and the majority of these women do not get paid for their hard work.
PAHO (Pan American Health Organization) estimates that there are about 22,000 maternal deaths per year in Latin America and the Caribbean with an aggregate ratio of 190 deaths per 100,000 births. PAHO also estimates that under-reporting in many regions can be as high as 70%.
In Central America, traditional midwives attend most of the deliveries where the maternal mortality is the highest due to poverty. The contribution of traditional midwives to the health of nations has been undervalued by governments and insufficient resources have been allocated to providing midwives with the equipment, training and medicines that they need to carry out their job safely and effectively.
In April 2004, a group of midwives from these five countries took a ground-breaking step by coming together in Costa Rica to share their experiences as midwives in their respective countries. Their tales reflect their love and devotion to their work, and their ongoing commitment to the many women they have helped through childbirth.
They tell their stories of how unjust their health systems are and share harrowing accounts of health care systems which fail its people.
Central American Midwives, the charitable organization that funded this assembly, produced a DVD depicting these women’s stories. In the documentary, one of the Nicaraguan midwives, Doña Alicia, compares the care the traditional midwives give to the impersonal care of the local hospital; “The midwife offers love and trust and confidence and she doesn’t do it mechanically like the nurses and doctors. However, I don’t mean to offend these health care workers, who do the best job they can. For example, a woman goes to have her baby in a hospital. In the room she will find a nurse, a person who cleans and another woman in the next bed to her. The doctor arrives and says "let’s see lady, open your legs", and the woman feels ashamed. On the other hand if a midwife attends this woman in the privacy of her own home, the woman experiences trust.”
Doña Alicia went on to say that she didn’t want to offend the doctors because they do offer good care when they are needed. But that they do not possess the kindness of a midwife, and often lack the patience the midwife has.
Josefa Mira, a midwife from El Salvador, explained that the midwives are constantly monitoring the progress of the labour and when a complication presents itself they organize immediate transfer to a hospital. “And we don’t only care for women of the community during pregnancy and birth”, she said. “We also look after the general health of women and their families, domestic violence and all the illnesses that are common in our communities.”
However, lack of transport is a major problem in most areas and women in high-risk conditions often cannot be moved to a hospital for medical help due to this dilemma. The same problem exists if there are not enough basic medicines to treat disease in pregnancy.
The Central American Midwives plea is to be recognized and accepted for the value of their knowledge, to work as a team with health care services, to be adequately trained and equipped, and rightfully compensated. This issue needs to be recognised as an important, pressing matter.
Let us help those who bear the hands that hold our future generations. Let us help the Central American Midwife Crisis.
Guatemalan midwife María Cecilia says; “What I would like most for our country Guatemala is health for everyone, that having a baby would become safer, that we would have safe and healthy childbirth, and that society would give importance to mothers and the work of mothers. When we are expecting our babies we should feel cared for and receive love. And the other thing I wish for is that one day midwives would really be part of the health care system and have a salary that we can enjoy.”
To order your copy of this inspirational, educational DVD or for more information on Central American Midwives, contact http://central-american-midwives.org
-------------
About The Author
Catherine Cunningham is a copywriter based in Costa Rica. She works full time for a web design company and writes articles and site content for clients. You can contact her on catherine@unidad22.com
This article can be re-used if the author's name is acknowledged.
Mrs. Right...or Mrs. Disaster?: 10 Requirements for True Love
by: James Brito
I still remember getting the call, the call I knew would come but was nonetheless shocked to hear. My friend, Johnny, after just 10 months of marriage to a girl everyone knew was wrong for him, had gotten divorced. Instead of becoming a happily-ever-after couple, Johnny and Marissa had joined millions of other Americans and become statistics. Statistics of the all-too-common divorce.
It’s funny how these short-term marriages and long-term miseries occur. Usually it begins with a bad case of "Oneitis."
Don’t know the word Oneitis? Well, surely you know this infectious disease’s symptoms:
You think you’ve met the girl who’s perfect for you, who you can have a great relationship with and eventually marry
You ignore the bitchy behavior and abuse that comes from this girl, still believing that she’s "The One"
You see and know girls who you know would be much better for you, but ignore them because the girl you’re with is better-looking, taller, skinnier–a number of superficial qualities that don’t add up to the love you know you could get elsewhere
You spend lots and lots of money on this girl, and she never bothers to thank you–or if she does, it’s less than sincere
Your friends all tell you that this girl isn’t right for you, but you ignore their advice
Maybe your friends have even fought with this girl, but you defend her even though you know deep-down her behavior is unacceptable
You spend all your time with this girl, and ignore your friends and family
You find yourself calling her all the time to see what she’s doing, and who she’s with
You can’t get this girl out of your head, even when she’s long gone!
If you’ve ever watched the classic film Swingers, then you know what Oneitis is: it’s the character of Mikey!
Unfortunately, a lot of guys become the Mikeys of this world. And while some men may just go through this with a girl they’re only dating, other guys, like Johnny, take this obsession all the way to marriage. And that’s when the "disease" becomes deadly.
How do you know when a girl is right for you? I could write book after book after book about what’s right and what’s wrong, but what it comes down to are ten essential ingredients for lasting success:
She supports and encourages your goals and interests. A girl who’s right for you should follow you on your path–not try to re-direct it her own way. Unfortunately, Johnny’s wife wanted him to do something completely different to the direction he wanted to head, so it was little wonder that their romance fizzled out so quickly. Guys, if you can’t be open about your feelings, interests, passions and purpose, then you shouldn’t be with the girl. She should be able to listen and understand, not disregard and sneer.
You can accept her and her goals and interests. Just like a woman should support and push you on the path you want to head, so too should you be able to do the same for her. If she’s into motorcycling and you hate it, or if she wants to travel the world and you just want to stay in one place, then chances are you two aren’t made for each other. Likewise, you should be able to understand her emotions and concerns–both of you MUST be good, compassionate listeners.
She loves you for you, not your money and possessions. So many rich and powerful men have destructive relationships with women. Why? Because the woman aren’t marrying these men–they’re marrying their money. And divorce isn’t cheap, so even when these guys break up with the bloodsuckers, the women still get a hefty chunk of the pie!
She generally gets along with your family and friends–and doesn’t mind seeing them. So many guys seem to forget this, watching dumbly as their girlfriend pulls them further and further from their family and friends to have him all for her own. I’ve got an uncle who blindly allowed himself to end all contact with his family because his wife hated them. Somehow they’re still married, but is that the kind of woman you want to be with?
She’s on the same page, spiritually, as you. Spirituality is a big thing for couples–it can unite them like nothing else. I know so many couples who are happily married because they believe in the same God, the same purpose in life, the same deep feelings about their existence. Conversely, couples who battle over the questions of life just do not have the same loving romance. A girl who’s right for you doesn’t necessarily have to believe in the same religious principles and dogmas as you, but if she’s an atheist and you’re a Christian, things may not work out long-term.
She wants to spend as much time with you as with her own friends and family. This may seem like an obvious one, but so many guys fawn over girls who only see them on THEIR schedule. If a girl is really right for you, you shouldn’t have to obsess over her or ask her permission to see her. You should both WANT to see each other and miss being with one another–that’s a sign that you’re both in love.
You both share the same feelings for another. If you know deep in your heart that you want to marry her and spend the rest of your life with her, but she’s non-committal and vague, then you should certainly move on. A true, loving partner should accept you completely for who you are and what you feel. On the other hand, if you both feel comfortable sharing feelings with each other, and she accepts the deep things that you reveal to her, then you’ve found a true catch!
You both make time for each other, even through work and school. Spending quality time with one another is crucial. If your girl is always at her job, concentrating on her career, or studying for a degree, and not making an effort to be with you, then it’s time to move on. True love knows no bounds–including time. While it’s great to have a girl who’s serious about her career and education, this can also be a relationship-breaker if she takes either too seriously.
Money and possessions are not as important as love. This is a simple one: If your girl only talks about possessions and money, if that’s where her true values lie, then you might want to back out of the relationship. Every girl wants good things in life, but if she really loves you, then how much you make and how much you give her shouldn’t be #1 on her priority list.
You both are able to put each other ahead of yourselves. This can be the make or break of a relationship. If she’s willing to do things for you, sacrifice time with her friends or time at work to be with you and make you meals, then you’ve found yourself a winner. However, if she’s always cancelling dates, spending more time with her friends than with you, and never gets you any gifts or acts of service, then you’ve found yourself a bitch. Move on. When she treats herself more important than you, then you’re heading towards disaster.
In the end, you want a girl who can you be you around, and know that you’re valued by her night and day. If you’re in a relationship now that you want to be more serious, ask yourself if the woman you’re with fulfills these 10 requirements. And if you’re looking for love, don’t get too far into it unless you really feel that the girl treats you right.
For all of you in a marriage or just got divorced, I highly recommend you check out this great service I found over the web. You can get free, high-quality newsletters that will tell you how to handle your marriage, or find a new one, and what kinds of signs to look out for that your relationship is on the rocks. Check out Save My Marriage Today now:
http://www.savemymarriagetoday.com
And remember: There’s a big difference between "The One" who’s right for you…and "The One" who will become your biggest nightmare!
----------------
About The Author
Relationship expert James Brito, author of "How to Be Irresistible to Women" and "The Art of Impressing Women," regularly explores topics of female attraction. Since 2000, he has helped thousands of men around the world build confidence and get the women they deserve. To get his free six-part audio mini-course, go to: http://www.000relationships.com/
Because it's YOUR turn!
I still remember getting the call, the call I knew would come but was nonetheless shocked to hear. My friend, Johnny, after just 10 months of marriage to a girl everyone knew was wrong for him, had gotten divorced. Instead of becoming a happily-ever-after couple, Johnny and Marissa had joined millions of other Americans and become statistics. Statistics of the all-too-common divorce.
It’s funny how these short-term marriages and long-term miseries occur. Usually it begins with a bad case of "Oneitis."
Don’t know the word Oneitis? Well, surely you know this infectious disease’s symptoms:
You think you’ve met the girl who’s perfect for you, who you can have a great relationship with and eventually marry
You ignore the bitchy behavior and abuse that comes from this girl, still believing that she’s "The One"
You see and know girls who you know would be much better for you, but ignore them because the girl you’re with is better-looking, taller, skinnier–a number of superficial qualities that don’t add up to the love you know you could get elsewhere
You spend lots and lots of money on this girl, and she never bothers to thank you–or if she does, it’s less than sincere
Your friends all tell you that this girl isn’t right for you, but you ignore their advice
Maybe your friends have even fought with this girl, but you defend her even though you know deep-down her behavior is unacceptable
You spend all your time with this girl, and ignore your friends and family
You find yourself calling her all the time to see what she’s doing, and who she’s with
You can’t get this girl out of your head, even when she’s long gone!
If you’ve ever watched the classic film Swingers, then you know what Oneitis is: it’s the character of Mikey!
Unfortunately, a lot of guys become the Mikeys of this world. And while some men may just go through this with a girl they’re only dating, other guys, like Johnny, take this obsession all the way to marriage. And that’s when the "disease" becomes deadly.
How do you know when a girl is right for you? I could write book after book after book about what’s right and what’s wrong, but what it comes down to are ten essential ingredients for lasting success:
She supports and encourages your goals and interests. A girl who’s right for you should follow you on your path–not try to re-direct it her own way. Unfortunately, Johnny’s wife wanted him to do something completely different to the direction he wanted to head, so it was little wonder that their romance fizzled out so quickly. Guys, if you can’t be open about your feelings, interests, passions and purpose, then you shouldn’t be with the girl. She should be able to listen and understand, not disregard and sneer.
You can accept her and her goals and interests. Just like a woman should support and push you on the path you want to head, so too should you be able to do the same for her. If she’s into motorcycling and you hate it, or if she wants to travel the world and you just want to stay in one place, then chances are you two aren’t made for each other. Likewise, you should be able to understand her emotions and concerns–both of you MUST be good, compassionate listeners.
She loves you for you, not your money and possessions. So many rich and powerful men have destructive relationships with women. Why? Because the woman aren’t marrying these men–they’re marrying their money. And divorce isn’t cheap, so even when these guys break up with the bloodsuckers, the women still get a hefty chunk of the pie!
She generally gets along with your family and friends–and doesn’t mind seeing them. So many guys seem to forget this, watching dumbly as their girlfriend pulls them further and further from their family and friends to have him all for her own. I’ve got an uncle who blindly allowed himself to end all contact with his family because his wife hated them. Somehow they’re still married, but is that the kind of woman you want to be with?
She’s on the same page, spiritually, as you. Spirituality is a big thing for couples–it can unite them like nothing else. I know so many couples who are happily married because they believe in the same God, the same purpose in life, the same deep feelings about their existence. Conversely, couples who battle over the questions of life just do not have the same loving romance. A girl who’s right for you doesn’t necessarily have to believe in the same religious principles and dogmas as you, but if she’s an atheist and you’re a Christian, things may not work out long-term.
She wants to spend as much time with you as with her own friends and family. This may seem like an obvious one, but so many guys fawn over girls who only see them on THEIR schedule. If a girl is really right for you, you shouldn’t have to obsess over her or ask her permission to see her. You should both WANT to see each other and miss being with one another–that’s a sign that you’re both in love.
You both share the same feelings for another. If you know deep in your heart that you want to marry her and spend the rest of your life with her, but she’s non-committal and vague, then you should certainly move on. A true, loving partner should accept you completely for who you are and what you feel. On the other hand, if you both feel comfortable sharing feelings with each other, and she accepts the deep things that you reveal to her, then you’ve found a true catch!
You both make time for each other, even through work and school. Spending quality time with one another is crucial. If your girl is always at her job, concentrating on her career, or studying for a degree, and not making an effort to be with you, then it’s time to move on. True love knows no bounds–including time. While it’s great to have a girl who’s serious about her career and education, this can also be a relationship-breaker if she takes either too seriously.
Money and possessions are not as important as love. This is a simple one: If your girl only talks about possessions and money, if that’s where her true values lie, then you might want to back out of the relationship. Every girl wants good things in life, but if she really loves you, then how much you make and how much you give her shouldn’t be #1 on her priority list.
You both are able to put each other ahead of yourselves. This can be the make or break of a relationship. If she’s willing to do things for you, sacrifice time with her friends or time at work to be with you and make you meals, then you’ve found yourself a winner. However, if she’s always cancelling dates, spending more time with her friends than with you, and never gets you any gifts or acts of service, then you’ve found yourself a bitch. Move on. When she treats herself more important than you, then you’re heading towards disaster.
In the end, you want a girl who can you be you around, and know that you’re valued by her night and day. If you’re in a relationship now that you want to be more serious, ask yourself if the woman you’re with fulfills these 10 requirements. And if you’re looking for love, don’t get too far into it unless you really feel that the girl treats you right.
For all of you in a marriage or just got divorced, I highly recommend you check out this great service I found over the web. You can get free, high-quality newsletters that will tell you how to handle your marriage, or find a new one, and what kinds of signs to look out for that your relationship is on the rocks. Check out Save My Marriage Today now:
http://www.savemymarriagetoday.com
And remember: There’s a big difference between "The One" who’s right for you…and "The One" who will become your biggest nightmare!
----------------
About The Author
Relationship expert James Brito, author of "How to Be Irresistible to Women" and "The Art of Impressing Women," regularly explores topics of female attraction. Since 2000, he has helped thousands of men around the world build confidence and get the women they deserve. To get his free six-part audio mini-course, go to: http://www.000relationships.com/
Because it's YOUR turn!
True Love and Romantic Fiction, the Perfect Couple
by: Tameka Norris
The world is intrigued by true love stories just as much as fiction these days. Now, you can find a variety of sites dedicated to the reality of love at your perusal.
It goes to show you that just as many of us are captivated by the reality of romance as we are by a good romance fiction.
Although the two can offer some of the same results for the reader, it's clear they both bring something of their own individual value to the table.
You can't always get the same thing from true love stories that you can get from romantic fiction and vice versa. Neither can replace the other, but they both certainly do make the perfect couple.
You can take a closer look and see that we are often drawn to both types for different reasons. One very significant reason that many of us are captivated by romantic fiction is escapism.
The ability to dream and dare to dream. To live out experiences that would be impossible in reality... or unlikely. To take on new lives and journey to new worlds that don't exist, for the sheer pleasure of it.
We get to ask ourselves, "What life do I want to live today?" and then pick up a book and choose our own adventure that journeys us through our pick of the day.
True love stories can't really replace the sort of bond we form with fiction. Reality is one thing but fantasy is another.
Of course true love stories offer their own sort of getaway, but the boundaries are clear. In reality, most stories are bound by life's limitations. Oh, you may have a few exceptions to the rule, in which something miraculous happened, but that's on an every-now-and-then basis.
But even then we will never be able to journey to a different world and experience life in ways that exist in fiction.
However, true love stories do have a magic of their own. The truth and experiences that we all share in this world will always carry greater weight with us. To connect with a real person who experienced similar trials can't be replaced by fiction.
Curiosity may drive us to read a true story but it's inspiration and intrigue that keeps us there. Knowing someone out there--someone real has gone through something we've personally experienced is powerful.
True, we may be able to make up a sort of false reality with romantic fiction, but it can't replace the substance of truth. That real connection.
True love stories have their own individual quality. They draw us in, because really... what could be more fascinating than reading a true tale about love offset by the circumstance of reality? We all know there's no guarantee in life. Whether we will be dealt a good or bad hand in love is questionable.
We don't know the odds, or what the outcome in our lives will be in the end or during our own personal adventure through life.
When we add the limitations of uncertainty to the pot and combine them together with love--that alone captures our interest.
Whether the ending is good or bad, we're intrigued by the fortunes and misfortunes of reality, because life truly does imitate art.
-----------
About The Author
Tameka Norris is the founder of Romantic Short Love Stories. Offering the best of both worlds with true stories about love and romantic fiction. Visit http://www.romantic-short-love-stories.com.
The world is intrigued by true love stories just as much as fiction these days. Now, you can find a variety of sites dedicated to the reality of love at your perusal.
It goes to show you that just as many of us are captivated by the reality of romance as we are by a good romance fiction.
Although the two can offer some of the same results for the reader, it's clear they both bring something of their own individual value to the table.
You can't always get the same thing from true love stories that you can get from romantic fiction and vice versa. Neither can replace the other, but they both certainly do make the perfect couple.
You can take a closer look and see that we are often drawn to both types for different reasons. One very significant reason that many of us are captivated by romantic fiction is escapism.
The ability to dream and dare to dream. To live out experiences that would be impossible in reality... or unlikely. To take on new lives and journey to new worlds that don't exist, for the sheer pleasure of it.
We get to ask ourselves, "What life do I want to live today?" and then pick up a book and choose our own adventure that journeys us through our pick of the day.
True love stories can't really replace the sort of bond we form with fiction. Reality is one thing but fantasy is another.
Of course true love stories offer their own sort of getaway, but the boundaries are clear. In reality, most stories are bound by life's limitations. Oh, you may have a few exceptions to the rule, in which something miraculous happened, but that's on an every-now-and-then basis.
But even then we will never be able to journey to a different world and experience life in ways that exist in fiction.
However, true love stories do have a magic of their own. The truth and experiences that we all share in this world will always carry greater weight with us. To connect with a real person who experienced similar trials can't be replaced by fiction.
Curiosity may drive us to read a true story but it's inspiration and intrigue that keeps us there. Knowing someone out there--someone real has gone through something we've personally experienced is powerful.
True, we may be able to make up a sort of false reality with romantic fiction, but it can't replace the substance of truth. That real connection.
True love stories have their own individual quality. They draw us in, because really... what could be more fascinating than reading a true tale about love offset by the circumstance of reality? We all know there's no guarantee in life. Whether we will be dealt a good or bad hand in love is questionable.
We don't know the odds, or what the outcome in our lives will be in the end or during our own personal adventure through life.
When we add the limitations of uncertainty to the pot and combine them together with love--that alone captures our interest.
Whether the ending is good or bad, we're intrigued by the fortunes and misfortunes of reality, because life truly does imitate art.
-----------
About The Author
Tameka Norris is the founder of Romantic Short Love Stories. Offering the best of both worlds with true stories about love and romantic fiction. Visit http://www.romantic-short-love-stories.com.
The Truth About Finding Your True Love And How You Can Fulfill Your Dream Of Living Happily Ever After With The Love Of Your Lif
by: Cucan Pemo
“All we need is love.” Myth or not? Since love does seem to be able to overcome anything and everything, at least on television and at the movies, this seems like a reality. However, truth is, making relationships work takes skill and hard work, regardless of the “love” factor. This is a myth here.
Let’s take a peak at some of the more common concepts above “love” relationships and see if they are myths or based upon reality.
If you are thinking of going into a relationship, or if you find yourself falling in love, and ready to date, keep this in mind: relationship is way, way beyond just love and attraction.
Just like in fairy tales, once true love is found, people live happily ever after. Truth or myth? Granted couples can look into each other’s eyes and have those warm fuzzy feelings. However, truth is, all couples will have their ups and downs. “Happily ever after” seems to imply a perfect, problem-less relationship when in reality, those don’t exist.
If you are in a problem-less relationship (which doesn't exist anyway), you'll get bored one day. And one of the couples will want to run away!
So, is it possible to create and maintain a long lasting and blissful relationship, or can one even dream of creating the relationship of his or her dreams?
You bet!
The first step is to arm yourself with the genuine knowledge and instructions on how to create your soul-based relationship. Trust me, it is worth your time and money if you can ever find a comprehensive course of instructions and learn more about the truth of relationship, and especially how you can draw in your soul mate!
It has to be “love at first sight” in order to work long- term. Myth or truth? While this can be true for some, it certainly doesn’t have to be for all couples in long-term relationships. Many people grow together over time.
Since practically anyone can learn the nuts and bolts of relationship building, focusing on some basic techniques that can be learned is a must. The main ones, in no particular order, are:
- Understand your-self.
Understand yourself. What is your personality. You may be surprised. Some people live for a long time and never come to understand or even realize why they are the way they are! And why is this important? It determines how you look at the world, how you will interpret the events occurring in your life, and WHO YOU ARE will help your partner determine how to react to YOU!
- Rapport: Develop rapport with others well.
Now let’s take a quick peak at the basics of developing rapport with others. In a nutshell, what it takes is to ask questions, have a positive, open attitude, encour age an open exchange of communications (both verbal and unspoken), listen to verbal and unspoken communications and share positive feedback.
- Conflict Resolution: Resolve negative issues and conflicts without too much friction
How do you handle conflicts? If you can put your ego aside pretty much and try to keep friction to a minimum, your relationships should move along fairly smoothly. Where you feel disagreement, if you can “agree” to disagree on certain things with the other party involved, that will help, too. In short, conflict resolution means to pretty much deal with others as you would want them to deal with you.
Once true love is found, people live happily ever after. Truth or myth? Well, it will definitely not be a perfect, problem-less journey. However, you definitely can live happily ever after with the love of your life, if only you will arm yourself with the right relationship skills and learn relationship mastery whole heartedly.
Trust me, this is within your power. It is your destiny to draw in your highest and best mate, if you have decided to.
-------------------
About The Author
Cucan Pemo is the Best Selling Author for her unconventional ebooks at http://www.RetrieveALover.com/home.htm. Get FREE Special Reports, FREE Ebooks, tips, strategies and resources on how you can Find True Love and Bring Back A Lost Love at http://www.RetrieveALover.com/home.htm
“All we need is love.” Myth or not? Since love does seem to be able to overcome anything and everything, at least on television and at the movies, this seems like a reality. However, truth is, making relationships work takes skill and hard work, regardless of the “love” factor. This is a myth here.
Let’s take a peak at some of the more common concepts above “love” relationships and see if they are myths or based upon reality.
If you are thinking of going into a relationship, or if you find yourself falling in love, and ready to date, keep this in mind: relationship is way, way beyond just love and attraction.
Just like in fairy tales, once true love is found, people live happily ever after. Truth or myth? Granted couples can look into each other’s eyes and have those warm fuzzy feelings. However, truth is, all couples will have their ups and downs. “Happily ever after” seems to imply a perfect, problem-less relationship when in reality, those don’t exist.
If you are in a problem-less relationship (which doesn't exist anyway), you'll get bored one day. And one of the couples will want to run away!
So, is it possible to create and maintain a long lasting and blissful relationship, or can one even dream of creating the relationship of his or her dreams?
You bet!
The first step is to arm yourself with the genuine knowledge and instructions on how to create your soul-based relationship. Trust me, it is worth your time and money if you can ever find a comprehensive course of instructions and learn more about the truth of relationship, and especially how you can draw in your soul mate!
It has to be “love at first sight” in order to work long- term. Myth or truth? While this can be true for some, it certainly doesn’t have to be for all couples in long-term relationships. Many people grow together over time.
Since practically anyone can learn the nuts and bolts of relationship building, focusing on some basic techniques that can be learned is a must. The main ones, in no particular order, are:
- Understand your-self.
Understand yourself. What is your personality. You may be surprised. Some people live for a long time and never come to understand or even realize why they are the way they are! And why is this important? It determines how you look at the world, how you will interpret the events occurring in your life, and WHO YOU ARE will help your partner determine how to react to YOU!
- Rapport: Develop rapport with others well.
Now let’s take a quick peak at the basics of developing rapport with others. In a nutshell, what it takes is to ask questions, have a positive, open attitude, encour age an open exchange of communications (both verbal and unspoken), listen to verbal and unspoken communications and share positive feedback.
- Conflict Resolution: Resolve negative issues and conflicts without too much friction
How do you handle conflicts? If you can put your ego aside pretty much and try to keep friction to a minimum, your relationships should move along fairly smoothly. Where you feel disagreement, if you can “agree” to disagree on certain things with the other party involved, that will help, too. In short, conflict resolution means to pretty much deal with others as you would want them to deal with you.
Once true love is found, people live happily ever after. Truth or myth? Well, it will definitely not be a perfect, problem-less journey. However, you definitely can live happily ever after with the love of your life, if only you will arm yourself with the right relationship skills and learn relationship mastery whole heartedly.
Trust me, this is within your power. It is your destiny to draw in your highest and best mate, if you have decided to.
-------------------
About The Author
Cucan Pemo is the Best Selling Author for her unconventional ebooks at http://www.RetrieveALover.com/home.htm. Get FREE Special Reports, FREE Ebooks, tips, strategies and resources on how you can Find True Love and Bring Back A Lost Love at http://www.RetrieveALover.com/home.htm
True Love - Part 2
by: Adeyemi Adetosoye
Okay, so why would one person feel strongly about the other and the other hardly misses a beat? In my last article, I said that one of the reasons is that the ‘despised’ one probably isn’t the one in the first place. But let’s leave the ‘despiser’ for now and focus on the ‘despisee’. What is the ‘despisee’ feeling? Why does he/she care so, almost to the point of ridicule?
Again, a myriad of reasons. He/she may just be a nuisance stalker or maybe has a nut loose. But what about the real honest injuns? Those with impeccable backgrounds, well schooled, polished, suave types who have got it all together? What about those types? What are they feeling, assuming there is no screw loose somewhere? Surely, at some point we have encountered those types.
The ‘despisee’, assuming he/she isn’t some lil’ kid with a silly crush who hardly knows what is happening half the time, may actually feel that he or she’s in love. Why? BECAUSE, THE DESPISER EPITOMIZES ALL THE DESPISEE EVER WANTED IN THE OTHER PERSON, TO A LARGE EXTENT. This follows from my definition for true love (See my last article).
To a large extent, the despiser represents a whole lot of traits that the ‘despisee’ ever wanted in the first place. By the same token, it is not impossible that the ‘despisee’ doesn’t posses such “charming” qualities, as far as the despiser is concerned, anyway.
We mustn’t be too hasty, however. What if the other person takes his or her time? Maybe he or she just doesn’t like to be rushed into a relationship in the first place? Very valid point, but this would contradict my point about the despiser hardly missing a bit, wouldn’t it? This second person is a whole different person from the first, because he or she really cares, has trouble making decisions of this matter, or has something or the other that is keeping him or her from making a decision right away. Anyway, such a person would generally not be fickle, in relationships. Generally, such a one wouldn’t take relationships lightly.
How then do you determine into what category he or she would fall. Persons in the first category can be readily recognized by I-don’t-care attitudes and contempt for the ‘despisee’, while the other shows a sincere struggle within him or herself, to come to terms with what is going on.
Since we can tell the difference, the next issue is addressing what the issues are with this second person. This is valid, especially if one doesn’t want to get hurt in the long run, or pine over what can never be.
If the issue is that such a one has trouble making decisions, then time is what will let him or her know what you are worth. It is a red flag however, a warning sign. If he has trouble making a decision and you are not the only one in his life at that moment, then, even though he or she really likes you, perhaps, YOU ARE NOT ALL THAT HE EPITOMIZES THE ONE TO BE. Perhaps.
On the other hand, if he or she is being hindered by something else, more importantly, by someone else, that is another red flag. It could be that he or she is in a relationship and met you and can’t decide what to do since meeting you. Or it could be that he or she is struggling with something not yet confided to you. A dark secret, health issues, etc.
Either way, you need to encourage openness and honesty, so that you are aware of what the issues are. In this regard, depending on what the issues are, time will tell in what direction the relationship will swing. You will have to decide then what to do. Is he or she worth your getting hurt over? If so, prepare yourself for the worst case scenario; otherwise, move on. Either way, hurt may be involved.
This brings us to the second general rule for finding true love. Prepare to exercise patience, for patience is a virtue; and remember that nothing good comes easy. I’ll expound further on Finding True Love, in my next article.
Knowledge is NOT power; it is only empowering….The Application of Knowledge IS power.
---------------
About The Author
Christopher Adeyemi Adetosoye is author of A Man’s Guide to Finding True Love and A Woman’s Guide to Finding True Love, E-books, which are currently available at http://www.trueloveguide.com
adeyemi@trueloveguide.com
Okay, so why would one person feel strongly about the other and the other hardly misses a beat? In my last article, I said that one of the reasons is that the ‘despised’ one probably isn’t the one in the first place. But let’s leave the ‘despiser’ for now and focus on the ‘despisee’. What is the ‘despisee’ feeling? Why does he/she care so, almost to the point of ridicule?
Again, a myriad of reasons. He/she may just be a nuisance stalker or maybe has a nut loose. But what about the real honest injuns? Those with impeccable backgrounds, well schooled, polished, suave types who have got it all together? What about those types? What are they feeling, assuming there is no screw loose somewhere? Surely, at some point we have encountered those types.
The ‘despisee’, assuming he/she isn’t some lil’ kid with a silly crush who hardly knows what is happening half the time, may actually feel that he or she’s in love. Why? BECAUSE, THE DESPISER EPITOMIZES ALL THE DESPISEE EVER WANTED IN THE OTHER PERSON, TO A LARGE EXTENT. This follows from my definition for true love (See my last article).
To a large extent, the despiser represents a whole lot of traits that the ‘despisee’ ever wanted in the first place. By the same token, it is not impossible that the ‘despisee’ doesn’t posses such “charming” qualities, as far as the despiser is concerned, anyway.
We mustn’t be too hasty, however. What if the other person takes his or her time? Maybe he or she just doesn’t like to be rushed into a relationship in the first place? Very valid point, but this would contradict my point about the despiser hardly missing a bit, wouldn’t it? This second person is a whole different person from the first, because he or she really cares, has trouble making decisions of this matter, or has something or the other that is keeping him or her from making a decision right away. Anyway, such a person would generally not be fickle, in relationships. Generally, such a one wouldn’t take relationships lightly.
How then do you determine into what category he or she would fall. Persons in the first category can be readily recognized by I-don’t-care attitudes and contempt for the ‘despisee’, while the other shows a sincere struggle within him or herself, to come to terms with what is going on.
Since we can tell the difference, the next issue is addressing what the issues are with this second person. This is valid, especially if one doesn’t want to get hurt in the long run, or pine over what can never be.
If the issue is that such a one has trouble making decisions, then time is what will let him or her know what you are worth. It is a red flag however, a warning sign. If he has trouble making a decision and you are not the only one in his life at that moment, then, even though he or she really likes you, perhaps, YOU ARE NOT ALL THAT HE EPITOMIZES THE ONE TO BE. Perhaps.
On the other hand, if he or she is being hindered by something else, more importantly, by someone else, that is another red flag. It could be that he or she is in a relationship and met you and can’t decide what to do since meeting you. Or it could be that he or she is struggling with something not yet confided to you. A dark secret, health issues, etc.
Either way, you need to encourage openness and honesty, so that you are aware of what the issues are. In this regard, depending on what the issues are, time will tell in what direction the relationship will swing. You will have to decide then what to do. Is he or she worth your getting hurt over? If so, prepare yourself for the worst case scenario; otherwise, move on. Either way, hurt may be involved.
This brings us to the second general rule for finding true love. Prepare to exercise patience, for patience is a virtue; and remember that nothing good comes easy. I’ll expound further on Finding True Love, in my next article.
Knowledge is NOT power; it is only empowering….The Application of Knowledge IS power.
---------------
About The Author
Christopher Adeyemi Adetosoye is author of A Man’s Guide to Finding True Love and A Woman’s Guide to Finding True Love, E-books, which are currently available at http://www.trueloveguide.com
adeyemi@trueloveguide.com
True Love - Part 1
by: Adeyemi Adetosoye
True Love! We all dream of being in love with that significant other, at some point in our lives. Is it better to have loved once than not to have loved at all? If this is really the case, then how do we actually find true love? How can a man or a woman really get to the core of the whole relationship game? What are the rules of such a game?
More often than not, it is not uncommon to find that either one partner feels really strongly about the other, whilst the other just bides time because he or she is the only one “available” at the time.
The key to marriage and happily-ever-after, lies first and foremost, with finding the right person. A lot of folks believe that there may be just one unique individual for every person in the world. I however, beg to differ. Wherever one goes, there is always the possibility of meeting one or more persons who uniquely match our tastes - philosophically, culturally, materially, emotionally and of course, physically (those sure do come a dime a dozen).
Okay, let’s get down to brass tacks here. Why would one person be into another, whilst the other hardly misses a beat? There are a myriad of reasons, reasons which I will discuss in other articles. For now, we’d discuss the most fundamental one: Maybe he/she is not your “true love”.
This leads us to a definition of the same. What is true love? Simply put, true love is the epitome of all your needs and desires in the other person, to a large extent. To a large extent? I hear you ask. Surely, to a large extent, because you can NEVER meet another human being who perfectly epitomizes what you truly desire in a significant other. To a large extent, however, it is possible to find such a one, but only just so.
Let’s analyze the last bit of my discourse for instance. Twins born of the same womb would hardly always see eye to eye over the same issue. Husbands and wives, even after 50 years of marriage would still not see eye-to-eye on certain issues, yet they live together: happily, we hope. Hence, why wait for the perfect person?
Humans are basically emotional and whimsical creatures. We are not robots, cannot be programmed to do only the same things. The only way we discipline ourselves is via several years of repetition, till we perform almost by rote. Therefore, we can never be perfect. Not in everything. You can never get another man just the exact flavor, the exact shade, the exact build, the exact manner of laughter, the exact you name it. Even if heor she’s of pristine character, he may defer from his ways just because. Because what? Just because. BECAUSE WHAT? “CAUSE I FELT LIKE IT, OKAY?” Whimsical Creatures.
It could have been anything. The room temperature, the color of the sky, his boss may have spoken rudely to him, he got drenched in the rain, blah, blah, blah.
Okay, so don’t look for perfection. That’s the first general rule of finding true love. In further articles, I will expound further on Finding True Love.
************************************************************************
Knowledge is NOT power; it is only empowering….The Application of Knowledge IS power.
----------------
About The Author
Christopher Adeyemi Adetosoye is author of A Man’s Guide to Finding True Love and A Woman’s Guide to Finding True Love, E-books, which are currently available at
www.trueloveguide.com
webmaster@trueloveguide.com
True Love! We all dream of being in love with that significant other, at some point in our lives. Is it better to have loved once than not to have loved at all? If this is really the case, then how do we actually find true love? How can a man or a woman really get to the core of the whole relationship game? What are the rules of such a game?
More often than not, it is not uncommon to find that either one partner feels really strongly about the other, whilst the other just bides time because he or she is the only one “available” at the time.
The key to marriage and happily-ever-after, lies first and foremost, with finding the right person. A lot of folks believe that there may be just one unique individual for every person in the world. I however, beg to differ. Wherever one goes, there is always the possibility of meeting one or more persons who uniquely match our tastes - philosophically, culturally, materially, emotionally and of course, physically (those sure do come a dime a dozen).
Okay, let’s get down to brass tacks here. Why would one person be into another, whilst the other hardly misses a beat? There are a myriad of reasons, reasons which I will discuss in other articles. For now, we’d discuss the most fundamental one: Maybe he/she is not your “true love”.
This leads us to a definition of the same. What is true love? Simply put, true love is the epitome of all your needs and desires in the other person, to a large extent. To a large extent? I hear you ask. Surely, to a large extent, because you can NEVER meet another human being who perfectly epitomizes what you truly desire in a significant other. To a large extent, however, it is possible to find such a one, but only just so.
Let’s analyze the last bit of my discourse for instance. Twins born of the same womb would hardly always see eye to eye over the same issue. Husbands and wives, even after 50 years of marriage would still not see eye-to-eye on certain issues, yet they live together: happily, we hope. Hence, why wait for the perfect person?
Humans are basically emotional and whimsical creatures. We are not robots, cannot be programmed to do only the same things. The only way we discipline ourselves is via several years of repetition, till we perform almost by rote. Therefore, we can never be perfect. Not in everything. You can never get another man just the exact flavor, the exact shade, the exact build, the exact manner of laughter, the exact you name it. Even if heor she’s of pristine character, he may defer from his ways just because. Because what? Just because. BECAUSE WHAT? “CAUSE I FELT LIKE IT, OKAY?” Whimsical Creatures.
It could have been anything. The room temperature, the color of the sky, his boss may have spoken rudely to him, he got drenched in the rain, blah, blah, blah.
Okay, so don’t look for perfection. That’s the first general rule of finding true love. In further articles, I will expound further on Finding True Love.
************************************************************************
Knowledge is NOT power; it is only empowering….The Application of Knowledge IS power.
----------------
About The Author
Christopher Adeyemi Adetosoye is author of A Man’s Guide to Finding True Love and A Woman’s Guide to Finding True Love, E-books, which are currently available at
www.trueloveguide.com
webmaster@trueloveguide.com
The Economics of True Love
by: Adeyemi Adetosoye
In the real world, can there be romance without finance? A common saying: No romance, without finance. But what does it mean really? After a little thought about it and a hard look at the big picture, we see that it actually derives from the fact that in the real world, there is actually some level of bias to any decision we make, including our decision to love or be in love.
In a land of utopia therefore, it would seem perfectly reasonable that Love would know no bounds, experience no biases. In our world however, far from any kind of utopia, biases begin to play their different roles, one way or the other.
From a financial standpoint, most women want to be secure and go with whoever comes correct as far as finances are concerned. But finances aren’t the only bias in our society: upbringing, level of education, manners, carriage, height, persona, charm, etiquette, to name a few. Plus of course, he or she should be generally approved by our loved ones.
Expression of our individual biases however, does not mean we are mean people, or self-seeking individuals. On the contrary, they point immediately to two main glaring things: that we are merely humans in an imperfect world and our very human nature, with its whims and elements of choice and free will, allow us to “filter” out our choices till we arrive at our ‘true love’.
But is this love so defined, pure and divine or is it just a load of baloney anyway? Yes it can be pure and divine; no, it is not a lot of baloney. Why? Because from our very natures and the nature of the world in which we live in, our whims must be tolerated, till we see Prince Charming or the Fair Maiden, whoever they turn out to be.
True Love found in this manner, mustn’t be confused with “love” that stems from a desire for self-gain and greed. Yes, it is perfectly possible that finance may drive a romance. And yes, it is perfectly possible that for the less-materialistic of us, finance does drive a romance, but to a much lesser degree than may be considered healthy by most average standards.
A lust for self-gain and the romantic attachments that derive from this may only be considered greedy and disgusting (relative terms, mind), if the romance that results is only for the material possessions and nothing else.
A financially-motivated romantic relationship then, in this guise may not be true love at all, but just the love of self and the desire for self-gain. At the same time, whilst most ‘decent’ folk may not have a no-holds-barred attitude toward the ‘present’ material/financial status of the one they admire, everyone wants to see that the loved one has some “prospects”, or some desire and motivation to make something of him or herself in life. No one wants to be in love with the future bum. In this regard, because of the basic instinct of survival which is perhaps the greatest instinct of all living creatures, humans included, True Love may be assumed.
In this last context however, true love can only be assumed, after it has been tested, not to be a play for the gold, but as a really genuine state of the mind.
This brings us quickly to the story of Romeo and Juliet. First and foremost, they were both from two powerful, perhaps financially free, albeit feuding families. Without the knowledge (possible bias) that Romeo was of the Montague family, she is drawn by him. When she later finds out, she mourns her fate to the heavens and Romeo, hiding in bushes close to her house, hears her lamentation and despite being initially dismayed that she was a Capulet, (this dismay cannot have been too great however, otherwise what was Romeo doing lurking around Juliet’s house in the first place?) is immediately emboldened to make his feelings known to her. True Love had been found!
What is the moral of the story therefore in the light of the theme of my discourse?
True love can be found, despite any and all biases, financial included. He or she may not be well-off now, but that can always change. Romeo and Juliet were not willing to risk their love over pride and the squabble of some old and dead people; a squabble which was probably silly, of which they knew nothing.
Yes, the need for security is very high, but if you truly love him or her, if the bias can be changed, you will try to change it and have true love. If it can’t be changed, or the other refuses to change to suit your personal ‘filter’ and make you both happy, then, you may have to let go.
Knowledge is not power…it is only empowering; the Application of Knowledge is Power.
-----------------
About The Author
Christopher Adeyemi Adetosoye is author of A Man’s Guide to Finding True Love and A Woman’s Guide to Finding True Love, E-books, which are currently available at http://www.trueloveguide.com
adeyemi@trueloveguide.com
In the real world, can there be romance without finance? A common saying: No romance, without finance. But what does it mean really? After a little thought about it and a hard look at the big picture, we see that it actually derives from the fact that in the real world, there is actually some level of bias to any decision we make, including our decision to love or be in love.
In a land of utopia therefore, it would seem perfectly reasonable that Love would know no bounds, experience no biases. In our world however, far from any kind of utopia, biases begin to play their different roles, one way or the other.
From a financial standpoint, most women want to be secure and go with whoever comes correct as far as finances are concerned. But finances aren’t the only bias in our society: upbringing, level of education, manners, carriage, height, persona, charm, etiquette, to name a few. Plus of course, he or she should be generally approved by our loved ones.
Expression of our individual biases however, does not mean we are mean people, or self-seeking individuals. On the contrary, they point immediately to two main glaring things: that we are merely humans in an imperfect world and our very human nature, with its whims and elements of choice and free will, allow us to “filter” out our choices till we arrive at our ‘true love’.
But is this love so defined, pure and divine or is it just a load of baloney anyway? Yes it can be pure and divine; no, it is not a lot of baloney. Why? Because from our very natures and the nature of the world in which we live in, our whims must be tolerated, till we see Prince Charming or the Fair Maiden, whoever they turn out to be.
True Love found in this manner, mustn’t be confused with “love” that stems from a desire for self-gain and greed. Yes, it is perfectly possible that finance may drive a romance. And yes, it is perfectly possible that for the less-materialistic of us, finance does drive a romance, but to a much lesser degree than may be considered healthy by most average standards.
A lust for self-gain and the romantic attachments that derive from this may only be considered greedy and disgusting (relative terms, mind), if the romance that results is only for the material possessions and nothing else.
A financially-motivated romantic relationship then, in this guise may not be true love at all, but just the love of self and the desire for self-gain. At the same time, whilst most ‘decent’ folk may not have a no-holds-barred attitude toward the ‘present’ material/financial status of the one they admire, everyone wants to see that the loved one has some “prospects”, or some desire and motivation to make something of him or herself in life. No one wants to be in love with the future bum. In this regard, because of the basic instinct of survival which is perhaps the greatest instinct of all living creatures, humans included, True Love may be assumed.
In this last context however, true love can only be assumed, after it has been tested, not to be a play for the gold, but as a really genuine state of the mind.
This brings us quickly to the story of Romeo and Juliet. First and foremost, they were both from two powerful, perhaps financially free, albeit feuding families. Without the knowledge (possible bias) that Romeo was of the Montague family, she is drawn by him. When she later finds out, she mourns her fate to the heavens and Romeo, hiding in bushes close to her house, hears her lamentation and despite being initially dismayed that she was a Capulet, (this dismay cannot have been too great however, otherwise what was Romeo doing lurking around Juliet’s house in the first place?) is immediately emboldened to make his feelings known to her. True Love had been found!
What is the moral of the story therefore in the light of the theme of my discourse?
True love can be found, despite any and all biases, financial included. He or she may not be well-off now, but that can always change. Romeo and Juliet were not willing to risk their love over pride and the squabble of some old and dead people; a squabble which was probably silly, of which they knew nothing.
Yes, the need for security is very high, but if you truly love him or her, if the bias can be changed, you will try to change it and have true love. If it can’t be changed, or the other refuses to change to suit your personal ‘filter’ and make you both happy, then, you may have to let go.
Knowledge is not power…it is only empowering; the Application of Knowledge is Power.
-----------------
About The Author
Christopher Adeyemi Adetosoye is author of A Man’s Guide to Finding True Love and A Woman’s Guide to Finding True Love, E-books, which are currently available at http://www.trueloveguide.com
adeyemi@trueloveguide.com
Attract True Love: Are You Dating Half a Man?
by: Terry Hernon MacDonald
I get lots of mail from women who are involved with married or otherwise attached men. They invariably ask how long they should wait for a guy to leave his wife or girlfriend before giving him the heave-ho.
My answer is always the same: Give the jerk the heave-ho now. Immediately!
Why any woman would date a man in the hopes that he will eventually leave a wife or girlfriend baffles me. Even if he makes good on his promise, this woman will snare a dubious prize: A creep who is capable of fleeing a relationship as soon as another female turns his head. She's netted herself a half-man.
In case you're dating a half-man and kidding yourself into believing his infidelity won't ever be your problem, ask yourself how you would like it if another woman snatched your man. If he's "snatchable," it means he's unable to commit fully to a relationship, and it will only be a matter of time before you wind up sharing him with someone else.
Women who date errant husbands and boyfriends are poaching other women's men. It's wrong. And, as your mother might have told you, wrong actions invariably lead to painful consequences.
If you have the bad fortune to be in this situation and choose to take your chances with Lover Boy, you can be relatively sure:
a) You'll wind up spending all your Christmases choking on Aunt Hilda's dry quiche and being subjected to Uncle Charlie's drooly denture readjustments (while, at the very same time in a Norman Rockwell scene across town, Lover Boy and his wife are joyfully beholding their children tearing open presents under their tree).
Or:
b) You'll wind up the jittery wife of a man who cut and run on his first wife and children. Trust me; if this scenario pans out, you will find yourself looking over your shoulder every day for the rest of your life. You'd have a much better time with Hilda and Charlie.
Is any guy worth it?
I didn't think so.
If you're stuck on a half-man, unstick yourself immediately. Stop taking his calls. Find another route home from work to avoid running into him. If you have to, get another job. Change your phone number. Give him the slip; your happiness and self-respect are at stake.
You deserve a whole man, so hold out for one. Raise your standards for a guy who's capable of loyalty and true love. He's out there. I promise.
-------------
About The Author
Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Visit her website at http://www.marrysmart.com and sign up for free dating tips. Check out her blog at http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com.
I get lots of mail from women who are involved with married or otherwise attached men. They invariably ask how long they should wait for a guy to leave his wife or girlfriend before giving him the heave-ho.
My answer is always the same: Give the jerk the heave-ho now. Immediately!
Why any woman would date a man in the hopes that he will eventually leave a wife or girlfriend baffles me. Even if he makes good on his promise, this woman will snare a dubious prize: A creep who is capable of fleeing a relationship as soon as another female turns his head. She's netted herself a half-man.
In case you're dating a half-man and kidding yourself into believing his infidelity won't ever be your problem, ask yourself how you would like it if another woman snatched your man. If he's "snatchable," it means he's unable to commit fully to a relationship, and it will only be a matter of time before you wind up sharing him with someone else.
Women who date errant husbands and boyfriends are poaching other women's men. It's wrong. And, as your mother might have told you, wrong actions invariably lead to painful consequences.
If you have the bad fortune to be in this situation and choose to take your chances with Lover Boy, you can be relatively sure:
a) You'll wind up spending all your Christmases choking on Aunt Hilda's dry quiche and being subjected to Uncle Charlie's drooly denture readjustments (while, at the very same time in a Norman Rockwell scene across town, Lover Boy and his wife are joyfully beholding their children tearing open presents under their tree).
Or:
b) You'll wind up the jittery wife of a man who cut and run on his first wife and children. Trust me; if this scenario pans out, you will find yourself looking over your shoulder every day for the rest of your life. You'd have a much better time with Hilda and Charlie.
Is any guy worth it?
I didn't think so.
If you're stuck on a half-man, unstick yourself immediately. Stop taking his calls. Find another route home from work to avoid running into him. If you have to, get another job. Change your phone number. Give him the slip; your happiness and self-respect are at stake.
You deserve a whole man, so hold out for one. Raise your standards for a guy who's capable of loyalty and true love. He's out there. I promise.
-------------
About The Author
Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams." Visit her website at http://www.marrysmart.com and sign up for free dating tips. Check out her blog at http://happygirlmusing.blogspot.com.
What is true love?
by: David Ben-Ariel
Many gays will protest that God is a "God of love," and they think that as long as we're happy and in love - how could something so right be so wrong? They feel God couldn't condemn such relationships and wonder how anyone could think He would. But mortal thoughts and opinions aside (Prov. 14:12; Isa. 55:8), if there is a Creator God, and if the Bible is His Instruction Manual for mankind, we'd better base our beliefs solely on what's revealed within its pages. Faith must have a foundation (Rom. 10:17).
If the homosexual argument that "as long as we're happy and in love" is valid, couldn't the same defense be made to sanction incestuous relationships? Or premarital experiences or adulterous affairs? Do we always know what's best for us? Couldn't we be like grown-up teenagers who think they know everything, when in reality they don't?
Hasn't it been said, and true at times, that "love is blind?" Is it just a matter of feeling happy? Can't feelings fool us sometimes? Isn't that why family and friends have cautioned us to "keep your head above your heart?" Is all love proper? Are all affections good and healthy? What about being "lovesick?" Shouldn't there be some form of standards to judge by or criteria for character? Isn't there any game plan? Hasn't love too often been confused with lust (2 Sam. 13:15)?
Satan is "love!"
If we look into the Bible (not Freud, the latest sexual survey, or some kinky report), we'll find that it does condemn: the love of vanity (Ps. 4:2), of simplicity (Prov. 1:22), of excessive sleep (Prov. 20:13), of religious lies (2 Thes. 2:10), illicit sex, improper lovers, and "foreign affairs" (Ezek. 23:11, 17, 22; 16:37), of evil (Micah 3:2), drunkenness (Hos. 3:1), self-righteousness (Mat. 6:5; 23:6), of money (1 Tim. 6:10), this present world system and its ways (1 Jn. 2:15), spiritual darkness (Jn. 3:19), the kick-back of wrongdoing (2 Pet. 2:15), of ourselves in an unhealthy way and of cheap thrills (2 Tim.3:2,4), violence (Ps. 11:5), strife (Prov. 17:19), and even having a greater love for family or friends than for God (Matt. 10:37).
Therefore, the Bible clearly reveals that various forms of love and feelings are wrong, that certain human relationships are forbidden and condemned (Lev. 18), and that true love must be consistent with God's character and commandments (1 Jn. 5:3). Any other "love" isn't from God, but from Satan who is (such) "love!" He's the clever counterfeit; the snake who confuses the issues and twists the truth. It's precisely because God is Love (1 Jn. 4:8) that He wants to protect us from those Canaanite customs, perverted practices, and harmful ways that would ultimately undermine our land and lives (Lev. 18:30).
Still, some would angrily question how anyone could allow some old-fashioned Book to dictate their lives; after all, it's thousands of years old! But who would argue that the time-honored commandments against murder, or prohibition that protects private property or safeguards marriage and minds, or upholds honesty and virtue and being content are outdated? They're tried, tested, and true. Naturally, it's easier to accept something as long as it doesn't hit home or step on our toes. It's still typical, "A man (or woman) convinced against his will is of the same opinion still." Don't waste your time confusing them with the facts (Matt. 7:6; 15:14).
Obviously, this is a very sensitive subject. If someone does become convinced or converted to the truth - great! More power to them. But if others choose to continue in their contrary lifestyles, dying for sex rather than living for God and His Kingdom - that's their choice. God gives us all the prerogative to do as we please, but He strongly recommends and encourages us to "choose life" (Deut. 30:10); an even more appropriate message considering the high risk of AIDS. It's so difficult to TRANSCEND HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS - but we must, if and whenever it's necessary (Mark 10:28-30).
Living Responsible Lives
The "last days" are supposed to be reminiscent of earlier times, "as it was in the days of Noah," and "as it was in the days of Lot." How was it in days of yore? Just like today. Apparently, ignoring the dire need to make drastic changes in their lives, they conducted "business as usual" and fiddled about or got carried away with less important things (Deut. 32:47; Mark 4:19). It's recorded that they ate and drank, got married, and went to work everyday - until they were consumed by their burning desires and swept away by their sins (Luke 17:26-30).
What's wrong with eating and drinking or working? We might very well wonder. Didn't God create us with an appetite and a thirst, as well as a need for physical exertion? Yes, but certain tastes, desires and relationships should be nipped in the bud; not allowed to grow or develop or take root (Jas. 1:14-15)! Many things are good of and by themselves, and not wrong, but God's imposed conditions, restraints and guidelines for us to live by.
We're meant to enjoy those foods that God has blessed and offered us (Lev. 20:25; 1 Tim. 4:5), and even have an occasional drink, if we want. The Bible condemns gluttony, not eating; drunkenness, not drinking; greed, not need. It's what we do with what we're given. And we are instructed to work and be productive, but we're also commanded to remember the Sabbath (seventh day) to keep it holy. It's counterproductive to become too busy earning a living, that we neglect learning how to live (2 Pet. 3:18)!
Although we're at liberty to do almost anything, within reason (Gen. 2:16-17), we're to remember that we're held responsible for how we handle ourselves and manage our new-found freedoms (Ga. 5:13). We're not to abuse our privileges (1 Cor. 8:9), but be careful not to get caught up in things that could too easily get out of control (2 Pet. 2:20). A night of good, clean fun can quickly degenerate into an atmosphere of "just like the old times." We're entitled to time-out with the boys (or girls), just don't let your diversion become an obsession (1 Cor. 6:12) - as my mother once warned me!
Keep Your Head Above Your Heart!
Is it - as some would charge - being cold and cruel, even inhuman, to be in control of your mind and emotions? Isn't it rather mature to exercise proper self-control, sick and tired of giving in to compulsion? Isn't it judicious to carefully cross-examine every thought, thereby destroying the defense of our death sentence, commuting it in Christ (2 Cor. 1:9; 10:4-5; 1 Cor. 11:31)?
Doing what just comes natural or seems normal might excite Nietzsche; but it's not good enough for God. God wants us - mere mortals made out of matter - to come to resemble, think and act like Him. "Like Father, like Son." Why? Is God on some big ego-trip and wants a bunch of clones to come along for the joy-ride? No, but because it's the only way that'll work. He ought to know the secret for living happily ever after.
Mankind, after all, was created in the image of the Godkind, and shares the awesome potential to become composed of God's Spirit - after we've developed His characteristics (1 Cor. 15:53). God's eager to award us all the Diploma of Divinity after we've finished the course of conversion (2 Cor. 3:18). Therefore, instead of just doing what comes natural - we're to do the supernatural! We're to turn the other cheek instead of busting their jaw; forgive rather than fume; pray for our enemies rather than swear revenge, giving peace a chance. We're continually called to be different - in contrast, not conformity, to this world (Rom. 8:29).
Tough-Love
There is a time and a place for "tough-love." We're not to show the "mercy of fools" for welfare frauds or lazy bums (2 Thes. 3:10), or have compassion on cold-blooded murderers or hardened criminals, despite their many appeals (1 Sam. 15:32-33; Rom. 13:4).
We shouldn't refuse to use corporal punishment (Prov. 13:24). It might hurt for awhile, but hopefully the lesson (that actions have consequences) will last a lifetime (Prov. 19:18; 23:13; 29:15). It could keep them out of worse trouble later (Ecc.8:11).
We're also not to allow our emotions for loved ones to lead us to hell (Deut. 7:3-4; 13:6-9), or wrong relationships to get in our way. Despite the grief of saying goodbye, and the pain of tearful separation (2 Sam. 3:14-16; Ezra 10:3), you've got to do what you've got to do. Why make it any more difficult? Don't procrastinate and prolong your misery. Get it over with and get on with your life! We don't have time to waste in no-win situations (Ephes. 5:16).
We shouldn't try and be more understanding and tolerant than God, but refuse to even associate with a Church member who's living in sin without any apology or shame (1 Cor. 5:1-2, 9-13). And we should NEVER entertain any notions about ordaining such people!
Of course, we shouldn't cop a self-righteous attitude (Ga. 6:1), but realize the prayerful purpose is to help restore everyone to their senses (knowing that ongoing sin results in an eternal separation). If and whenever such a person "comes to" (Luke 15:17, 20), he's to be welcomed back with wide-open arms (2 Cor. 2:6-8). A little love can go a long way, and encourage us to do even better - rather than give up. But sometimes the situation calls for "shock-treatment" (tough-love), as well as private counseling. "Different strokes for different folks," so to speak (Lk. 12:47-48).
The moral of this story? Don't get blinded by the light: the glitter of "love," the hot-flash of emotion, and the gleam of relationships (2 Cor. 11:14). The going price for fool's gold is too high to pay. Walk away. It's not worth it.
--------------
About The Author
David Ben-Ariel, an American author who has travelled widely and who has lived throughout Israel, shares a special focus on the Middle East and great interest in Jerusalem, reflected in hard-hitting articles that help others improve their understanding of that troubled region. Check out www.benariel.com.
Many gays will protest that God is a "God of love," and they think that as long as we're happy and in love - how could something so right be so wrong? They feel God couldn't condemn such relationships and wonder how anyone could think He would. But mortal thoughts and opinions aside (Prov. 14:12; Isa. 55:8), if there is a Creator God, and if the Bible is His Instruction Manual for mankind, we'd better base our beliefs solely on what's revealed within its pages. Faith must have a foundation (Rom. 10:17).
If the homosexual argument that "as long as we're happy and in love" is valid, couldn't the same defense be made to sanction incestuous relationships? Or premarital experiences or adulterous affairs? Do we always know what's best for us? Couldn't we be like grown-up teenagers who think they know everything, when in reality they don't?
Hasn't it been said, and true at times, that "love is blind?" Is it just a matter of feeling happy? Can't feelings fool us sometimes? Isn't that why family and friends have cautioned us to "keep your head above your heart?" Is all love proper? Are all affections good and healthy? What about being "lovesick?" Shouldn't there be some form of standards to judge by or criteria for character? Isn't there any game plan? Hasn't love too often been confused with lust (2 Sam. 13:15)?
Satan is "love!"
If we look into the Bible (not Freud, the latest sexual survey, or some kinky report), we'll find that it does condemn: the love of vanity (Ps. 4:2), of simplicity (Prov. 1:22), of excessive sleep (Prov. 20:13), of religious lies (2 Thes. 2:10), illicit sex, improper lovers, and "foreign affairs" (Ezek. 23:11, 17, 22; 16:37), of evil (Micah 3:2), drunkenness (Hos. 3:1), self-righteousness (Mat. 6:5; 23:6), of money (1 Tim. 6:10), this present world system and its ways (1 Jn. 2:15), spiritual darkness (Jn. 3:19), the kick-back of wrongdoing (2 Pet. 2:15), of ourselves in an unhealthy way and of cheap thrills (2 Tim.3:2,4), violence (Ps. 11:5), strife (Prov. 17:19), and even having a greater love for family or friends than for God (Matt. 10:37).
Therefore, the Bible clearly reveals that various forms of love and feelings are wrong, that certain human relationships are forbidden and condemned (Lev. 18), and that true love must be consistent with God's character and commandments (1 Jn. 5:3). Any other "love" isn't from God, but from Satan who is (such) "love!" He's the clever counterfeit; the snake who confuses the issues and twists the truth. It's precisely because God is Love (1 Jn. 4:8) that He wants to protect us from those Canaanite customs, perverted practices, and harmful ways that would ultimately undermine our land and lives (Lev. 18:30).
Still, some would angrily question how anyone could allow some old-fashioned Book to dictate their lives; after all, it's thousands of years old! But who would argue that the time-honored commandments against murder, or prohibition that protects private property or safeguards marriage and minds, or upholds honesty and virtue and being content are outdated? They're tried, tested, and true. Naturally, it's easier to accept something as long as it doesn't hit home or step on our toes. It's still typical, "A man (or woman) convinced against his will is of the same opinion still." Don't waste your time confusing them with the facts (Matt. 7:6; 15:14).
Obviously, this is a very sensitive subject. If someone does become convinced or converted to the truth - great! More power to them. But if others choose to continue in their contrary lifestyles, dying for sex rather than living for God and His Kingdom - that's their choice. God gives us all the prerogative to do as we please, but He strongly recommends and encourages us to "choose life" (Deut. 30:10); an even more appropriate message considering the high risk of AIDS. It's so difficult to TRANSCEND HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS - but we must, if and whenever it's necessary (Mark 10:28-30).
Living Responsible Lives
The "last days" are supposed to be reminiscent of earlier times, "as it was in the days of Noah," and "as it was in the days of Lot." How was it in days of yore? Just like today. Apparently, ignoring the dire need to make drastic changes in their lives, they conducted "business as usual" and fiddled about or got carried away with less important things (Deut. 32:47; Mark 4:19). It's recorded that they ate and drank, got married, and went to work everyday - until they were consumed by their burning desires and swept away by their sins (Luke 17:26-30).
What's wrong with eating and drinking or working? We might very well wonder. Didn't God create us with an appetite and a thirst, as well as a need for physical exertion? Yes, but certain tastes, desires and relationships should be nipped in the bud; not allowed to grow or develop or take root (Jas. 1:14-15)! Many things are good of and by themselves, and not wrong, but God's imposed conditions, restraints and guidelines for us to live by.
We're meant to enjoy those foods that God has blessed and offered us (Lev. 20:25; 1 Tim. 4:5), and even have an occasional drink, if we want. The Bible condemns gluttony, not eating; drunkenness, not drinking; greed, not need. It's what we do with what we're given. And we are instructed to work and be productive, but we're also commanded to remember the Sabbath (seventh day) to keep it holy. It's counterproductive to become too busy earning a living, that we neglect learning how to live (2 Pet. 3:18)!
Although we're at liberty to do almost anything, within reason (Gen. 2:16-17), we're to remember that we're held responsible for how we handle ourselves and manage our new-found freedoms (Ga. 5:13). We're not to abuse our privileges (1 Cor. 8:9), but be careful not to get caught up in things that could too easily get out of control (2 Pet. 2:20). A night of good, clean fun can quickly degenerate into an atmosphere of "just like the old times." We're entitled to time-out with the boys (or girls), just don't let your diversion become an obsession (1 Cor. 6:12) - as my mother once warned me!
Keep Your Head Above Your Heart!
Is it - as some would charge - being cold and cruel, even inhuman, to be in control of your mind and emotions? Isn't it rather mature to exercise proper self-control, sick and tired of giving in to compulsion? Isn't it judicious to carefully cross-examine every thought, thereby destroying the defense of our death sentence, commuting it in Christ (2 Cor. 1:9; 10:4-5; 1 Cor. 11:31)?
Doing what just comes natural or seems normal might excite Nietzsche; but it's not good enough for God. God wants us - mere mortals made out of matter - to come to resemble, think and act like Him. "Like Father, like Son." Why? Is God on some big ego-trip and wants a bunch of clones to come along for the joy-ride? No, but because it's the only way that'll work. He ought to know the secret for living happily ever after.
Mankind, after all, was created in the image of the Godkind, and shares the awesome potential to become composed of God's Spirit - after we've developed His characteristics (1 Cor. 15:53). God's eager to award us all the Diploma of Divinity after we've finished the course of conversion (2 Cor. 3:18). Therefore, instead of just doing what comes natural - we're to do the supernatural! We're to turn the other cheek instead of busting their jaw; forgive rather than fume; pray for our enemies rather than swear revenge, giving peace a chance. We're continually called to be different - in contrast, not conformity, to this world (Rom. 8:29).
Tough-Love
There is a time and a place for "tough-love." We're not to show the "mercy of fools" for welfare frauds or lazy bums (2 Thes. 3:10), or have compassion on cold-blooded murderers or hardened criminals, despite their many appeals (1 Sam. 15:32-33; Rom. 13:4).
We shouldn't refuse to use corporal punishment (Prov. 13:24). It might hurt for awhile, but hopefully the lesson (that actions have consequences) will last a lifetime (Prov. 19:18; 23:13; 29:15). It could keep them out of worse trouble later (Ecc.8:11).
We're also not to allow our emotions for loved ones to lead us to hell (Deut. 7:3-4; 13:6-9), or wrong relationships to get in our way. Despite the grief of saying goodbye, and the pain of tearful separation (2 Sam. 3:14-16; Ezra 10:3), you've got to do what you've got to do. Why make it any more difficult? Don't procrastinate and prolong your misery. Get it over with and get on with your life! We don't have time to waste in no-win situations (Ephes. 5:16).
We shouldn't try and be more understanding and tolerant than God, but refuse to even associate with a Church member who's living in sin without any apology or shame (1 Cor. 5:1-2, 9-13). And we should NEVER entertain any notions about ordaining such people!
Of course, we shouldn't cop a self-righteous attitude (Ga. 6:1), but realize the prayerful purpose is to help restore everyone to their senses (knowing that ongoing sin results in an eternal separation). If and whenever such a person "comes to" (Luke 15:17, 20), he's to be welcomed back with wide-open arms (2 Cor. 2:6-8). A little love can go a long way, and encourage us to do even better - rather than give up. But sometimes the situation calls for "shock-treatment" (tough-love), as well as private counseling. "Different strokes for different folks," so to speak (Lk. 12:47-48).
The moral of this story? Don't get blinded by the light: the glitter of "love," the hot-flash of emotion, and the gleam of relationships (2 Cor. 11:14). The going price for fool's gold is too high to pay. Walk away. It's not worth it.
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About The Author
David Ben-Ariel, an American author who has travelled widely and who has lived throughout Israel, shares a special focus on the Middle East and great interest in Jerusalem, reflected in hard-hitting articles that help others improve their understanding of that troubled region. Check out www.benariel.com.
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