Top Three Reason To Use Free Online Dating Services

By: Ingrid Margaret

Are you tired of the stigma attached to free online dating services and the people who use them? Here are three good reasons why that stigma should melt away.

For a long time, a stigma has been attached to the search for relationships over the Internet. People say they aren’t real relationships because the people don’t meet in person, at least not right away. They point to deception, dangers, and other problems as good reasons not to use these free online dating services. However, there are plenty of excellent reasons why finding someone online is going to be a better choice.

Reason #1: Safer Environment

One woman who was meeting people through free online dating services was told by her mother that doing so was too risky. She could, after all, encounter a dangerous predator. In response, the woman simply asked, "So you’d rather me meet guys at a dark bar where everyone is intoxicated and not thinking clearly? Or maybe you’d prefer that I date a co-worker so I can lose my job the moment things go wrong?" Her mother was, of course, speechless.


For most people, these are the two options they used to find potential mates. Maybe they go the gym or other places they enjoy but in those cases, finding a romantic partner is rarely the primary intention. Nothing is safe about picking up people at a bar whether you are a man or a woman. Plus, office romances rarely succeed and almost always end up with someone cleaning out their desks. Those problems aren’t going to happen with free online dating services.

Reason #2: Sex Can Wait

We’ve all been there. You meet someone new and go on a date then the issue of sex comes up. Too often couples end up falling back on the sexual aspect of their relationships instead of working on building the more important components, such as friendship and respect. If you meet someone through these free online dating services, sex is rarely going to be an immediate option. Even if you live in the same city, you’ll want to spend time getting to know each other well before ever meeting in person.

The good thing about putting sex on the back burner is that you do have a better chance of really getting to know one another. And because the person picked you because of your profile and not just your good looks, there’s a better chance that you can make a connection that isn’t based solely on lust.

Reason #3: More Prepared for Liars

With all of the warnings about deception on free online dating services, men and women are definitely going to have their guard up when meeting people through these avenues. However, you might not be able to say the same thing about people who meet through other means. Think back to the last encounter with the opposite sex you’ve had at a bar. Were both of you complete honest in all of the things you said about yourselves? While deception seems to be a part of searching for relationships, at least online people are prepared for it.
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Marital Infidelity Recovery: 6 Reason NOT to Work on the Marriage

by: Dr. Robert Huizenga

I often explain that "polarized couples" (one wants to 'talk it through' and the other hopes it 'goes away' for example) find their marriage grinding to a halt when they believe they must "work on the relationship?'

Here are some difficulties typically experienced when a couple commits to "working on the relationship:"

1. "Working on the relationship" often implies that each "should or must" act, feel and think particular ways to make their efforts successful. A "should" sets one up for failure and disappointment, for no one ever fully acts, thinks for feels as they "should." An atmosphere of effort and grinding it out permeates the couple. And, each holds his/her breath, as they both believe that failure follows the next interaction. Talk about pressure! I assume you want a different environment created in your relationship.

2. "Working on the relationship" for a huge percentage of the couples I encounter means being "nice," accommodating the other and being on your best behavior. Conflict is seen as a catastrophe. Such a strategy, in essence, obscures and clouds the truth. The truth, which sets a couple free, is relegated to the background and buried under the surface.

3. "Working on the Relationship" often means trying to find a "middle ground." There must be "something in common" that holds the couple together and make it better. Well, maybe there isn't any "common ground!" And, just maybe that is good. Perhaps the differences, the extremes, give the couple fire and passion and create, together, that which each, at one level, is looking for.

4. "Working on the relationship” often means working hard to meet the needs of the other. I "sacrifice" my needs, or at least put them on the back burner, and intentionally go about "making my partner happy" by attending to his/her needs. This may work for a period of time but resentment at some point emerges since one or both believe that the need meeting is not being reciprocated to the degree he/she would like.

5. "Working on the relationship" often is thwarted because there is not enough depth. Individual differences are not pursued with a curiosity and intensity that allows for maximum growth of the individual and therefore couple. "Issues" are not torn apart, looked at, marveled at, appreciated and seen as a resource for further self exploration and self disclosure.

6. "Working on the relationship" often comes up short because a couple easily reverts to old patterns. They begin to "swirl" in the old communication patterns and ways of thinking, feeling and acting. When lacking adequate exploration of differences and avoiding conflict the couple easily slides back into that which was familiar, not pleasant or comfortable, but certainly known territory.

I'm assuming you don't merely want to "work on" the relationship, but you want a total overhaul. After all, the infidelity crisis does provide a great opportunity to recreate and redesign the relationship, now that you are wiser.

About The Author

Dr. Huizenga, the Infidelity Coach, offers infidelity help and relationship advice for coping with extramarital affairs and marital infidelity at: http://Break Free-From-the-Affair.com and http://Infidelity-help.com. Get articles and free downloads on emotional infidelity, coping with infidelity, the cheating spouse, signs of an affair, surviving infidelity and more.