Does Romantic Love Justify Premarital Sex?

"Every good gift and perfect present is from above, for it comes down the father of celestial lights," says James 1:17. Sexual intimacy within the marriage arrangement is one of those precious gifts. It enables human to procreate, and it also helps a husband and wife to bond physically and emotionally in with tender and pleasurable way. The bible says enjoy with the wife of your youth says the inspired book of the universe, and let her own breast intoxicate you at all time.
Naturally the creator of mankind wants us to benefit from and rejoice in his gifts. To that end, he has also given us the very best laws, and principles to live by, since God is the one teaching us to benefit ourselves and causing us to tread in the way in which we should work, so having this in ind do you thin your heavenly father the very personification of love deprive us of something that is truly good?
Sex before marriage is Unloving.
When a man and a woman unite in wedlock, they become one flesh as it were when two unmarried people have sexual relations, also called fornication, they too form one body but one that is unclean in the God's eye. The Greek word translate "fornication" applies to all sexual activities with another person outside marriage that involves the use of the sex organs, including oral sex. What is more, such unions are unloving. How so? For one thing, fornication is sex without genuine commitment. And besides under self-respect, it can result in disease, unwanted pregnancy in which any youths are victims, and emotional pain which has lead many people to suicide, Above all, it involve violation of God's righteous standards, hence, fornication reflects little or no regards for the present and the future welfare and happiness of the other person.

For people of Godly devotion, Fornication is also an encroachment upon the right of his her spiritual brother or sister, for example a professed servant who was indulge in sex outside marriage bring uncleanness into the christian congregation. Also they deprive the one with whom they commit fornication of a clean moral standing and if the other person is single, of entering into the possible future marriage morally chaste. They also stain the good record of their own family, as well as wrong the family of their sexual partner. Finally, they show a disregard for God, whom they hurt by violating his righteous laws and principles. God himself will exact punishment for all such bad turn, will exact punishment for all such bad deeds committed by unrepentant individuals. Is it any wonder then that the inspired word of God tells us to flee from fornication? Are you in love and planning to marry? then why not use your courtship to build a solid foundation of mutual trust and respect? Think: how can a woman fully trust who has shown himself lacking in self control? And how easy is it for a man to cherish and honor a woman who disregard God's law in order to satisfy her romantic feelings or please the man?
I want you to have at the back of your mind that those who reject God's word will always reap the reward of they sow. The bible also say: "He that practices fornication is sinning against his own body." True, if a couple who engaged in premarital sex truly repent, work hard to restore their relationship with God, and strengthen their trust in each another, negative feelings may eventually abate. Still, their past conduct usually leaves a scar. One young couple, who are now married, bitterly regret having committed fornication. "Are our marital disagreement some how a result of this unclean foundation? the husband asks himself.
True Love is Unselfish
While it may be accompanied by romantic feelings, true love "does not behave indecently" or look for its own interests, instead it work towards the welfare and everlasting happiness. Such love impels a man and a woman to honor each other and to accord sexual intimacies their proper, God-given place-the marital bad.
The feelings of trust and security that a make for a truly happy marriage are especially important when babies arrive, for God purposed that children grow up in a loving, stable, and secured environment. Only marriage do two people truly commit to each other. In their heart, and often orally as well, they vow to care for and support each other through good times and bad for the rest of their lives. Sexual intimacies between a husband and wife can strengthen their bond. In a happy marriage, partners also find sexual intimacy more pleasurable and meaningful - and with out cheapening the union, troubling the conscience, or disobeying the creator.

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About the Author:

I am Isaac by name, a nice and intelligent writer, who is willing to make money online with God's help. check out my blog to learn more about me http://marry2her.blogspot.com

Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - Does Romantic Love Justify Premarital Sex?

Premarital Counseling – 5 Tips

Young adults who are anticipating getting married are not stupid. They have seen the previous generation go through divorce after divorce and so they know firsthand of the disastrous effects divorce has on children, unspoken of or not. Far too many of you who anticipate marriages are only armed with the commitment that what happened to your parents will not happen to you. That's fine; but it's very similar to the commitment we adults had about parenting. We knew we wouldn't raise you the way we were raised, but we didn't look closely enough at marriage itself.

This evolutionary process (it is an evolutionary process, isn't it?) definitely works to some extent but it is rather unscientific. This method relies only on trial and error, learning from your mistakes and not repeating them. What is really necessary is a system of marriage that is laid out in front of you before you get married. Then you don't have to make the same mistakes that everyone has made in the past. You can start with fact-based information about how to behave, how to communicate correctly and how not to behave. The manual for marriage now exists, but it isn't my goal to advertise the work that I have done as much as it is to remind you that you're not getting into something that just happens naturally. Because of our culture and the power of our environment to influence us, having a happy marriage doesn't just happen. Don't get the wrong idea. I'm not trying to say that marriage requires tremendous work; it doesn't. But it does require a conscious decision to do what is correct.

The dynamics of a marriage are far different from any other social or other kind of relationship dynamics. There are certain rules that need to be followed. If you don't know the laws of marriage, no matter how great your desire to do the right thing is, you are going to make mistakes out of sheer ignorance. Ignorance is not a bad thing. It is what it is, unless you already knew what not to do. In that case you are responsible for your ignorance. Do you see my point? If you have a manual but choose not to read it, and then stumble through a process thinking you will figure it out as you go along, you are underestimating the importance of marriage.

Many people go to their religious leaders for premarital coaching. I am very much in favor of this because every religion offers guidelines of life that are very relevant. I must also state, from my own experience with couples who were suffering from painful marriages, that those guidelines are not enough. Other people go to psychologists for premarital coaching. I am sad to say I discourage this practice. It seems their systems focus on the negative in the name of exposing the dangers and pitfalls. Unfortunately they don't discuss adequately with depth the benefits of a sacred relationship, which marriage is. It is my ongoing contention that people must recognize the three aspects of their being (physical, psychological and spiritual). Western psychology completely ignores the spiritual aspect of humanity; a three legged stool will not stand, nor can mankind understand its true nature when it ignores its spiritual aspect. Ironically, the spiritual aspect of man is the essential aspect and it must be addressed and understood in order to get the full benefit of marriage. Please note I am not a religionist. I suppose all religions are good and none are perfect. Spirituality is part and parcel of all religions and even exists when people don't practice religion.

# 1) Know the person you're going to marry so character traits that might offend you are not revealed six months or six years down the road.

# 2) Appreciate them for who they are. Have no desire to change them.

# 3) Don't pretend they don't have flaws. But don't discuss their flaws with them.

4) Speak at length about raising children. Talk about how you want to raise them, include your goals and how you hope to achieve them. Talk about methods of discipline. Discuss what you will do with your children, and how much time each of you will spend with them. 5) Talk about your future intimacy. Talk about what lovemaking means to you but never correct each other. Tell your partner how you think your sex life might change after you are married. Be open about what your expectations are but don't ask for a commitment. Know for certain that a person does what they want to do but primarily what they are used to doing, so don't expect change.

The above five tips are just the tip of the iceberg. A truly happy marriage comes from unselfish and mature behavior. Learn what it takes and you will have the happiest marriage on earth. That is my prayer for you. Don't forget to tell your significant other, "I love you."
Paul Friedman


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About the Author:

Paul Friedman’s entry into the business of helping couples mend their marriages began with a very rough personal experience with divorce. Paul came out of an early retirement to become a mediator. His belief was that couples could easily work out the details of separation and get on with their lives. He discovered the truth from his clients:they only sought divorce because the help they found to stay together didn't work.

Read more relationship advice at Lessons For a Happy Marriage.com

Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - Premarital Counseling – 5 Tips

Could Premarital Sex be Justified

Sex, the most beautiful aspect in a male female relationship. No male and female affair ever bloomed on this planet without a shadow of lust and sex. People long to have sex, people commit crimes to have sex and as strong as the restrictions and barriers created by the society, sexual desires explode when proper opportunity arises. Daily news papers have number of rape cases and murders based on sex. People sometimes go crazy to the unimaginable extends to suck this vine of restricted pleasure. At this point I am tend to ask few questions. Is premarital sex a forbidden fruit? Could we justify premarital sex?

I do not expect the blind religious and impotent ones to answer me, neither do I accept answers from the romantic insane who are sensitive but never sensible and rational. My question is to you, the educated, civilised and up to date members of human race. Should sex be forbidden to the unmarried clan of the society?. The unmarried are mostly the teenagers, who are at the peak of energy and vitality, a group with the highest possibility of enjoying this act to the perfection. With regarding premarital sex people seem to be afraid of few things. Religion, society and conscience.

Bible says 'God created human being as male and female. God sent them on earth to multiply like the sand on sea shore'. Greek goddess even had a river to regain the virginity after every sexual act. Hindu puranas and epics are full of stories of sexual anarchy. No where no god never commanded that sex is to be practiced only in marriage. 'Indra', the supreme god or emperor of god's, is the best example for sexual immorality. According to the stories depicted in epics he never misses an opportunity to have sex with a female, irrespective of his or her marital status. Now... if you take this lightly, telling that this is only a story; you will be denying the reliability of Hindu religion and may be unknowingly proclaiming that Hinduism a mere baseless story. The same is true with most of the religions.

Now take the case of the so called society. Few countries consider premarital sex as a punishable crime, some nations take is as a immoral act and there are some countries who see premarital sex just as a physical need like food and clothing. Why these differences of thought? Let us have a glimpse on the countries those prohibit or restrict premarital sex. They are mostly underdeveloped countries or developing countries. Those who do not see premarital sex as a physical need, are the highly developed countries like USA and UK. In countries like India and other developing or underdeveloped countries the most alarming issue is population and poverty. If the population explodes into millions the only after effect is miserable starving and poverty. Thus the society has no other way than restricting the unmarried people from procreation by setting up moral standards and ethical issues. But in highly civilised countries people wish for their freedom and happiness than any morality or ethics.

Come to the aspect of conscience. Do there really exist any conscience?. Conscience is like a pre-written computer program. When a child is born his/her conscience is a 'tabula rasa', means a blank slate. Whet the society and people writes the concepts and so called rules on it blended with ethics and morality with a shadow of spirituality, it becomes the conscience of anyone. When you need to take an action what you have learned and stored in your conscience pop up in your mind like in computer. Thus conscience has no super power attached to it. Thus the conscience of an Indian would say that premarital sex will send him to sufferings in hell while an American will say sex whether in marriage or premarital is a biological need and will refresh the minds.

The concept of virginity is at the extreme level among the people in India, though most of the so called virgins might have lost it even before attaining puberty. What do you mean by virginity? Everyone wants their wife of husband should be an untouched flower. Today in the society men and women live with equal status. Both travel together. Touch each other, hug each other and even kiss on various occasions. Do kissing causes a girl or boy to loose virginity? If not how a similar body contact but with a different body part could take away the virginity of anybody? Virginity is a concept, may be a fantasy of fictional concept in the coming days.

When you are thirsty, you drink water. When you are hungry, you eat food. Then why cant you have sex when you are aroused. If drinking dirty water could cause you health problems you take precautionary measures. Then why cant you use precautions, which are largely available at reach, instead of avoiding sex for baseless and senseless reasons. Each thirst of body is to be satisfied; so is sex. But when justifying premarital sex I do not want you to rush into streets and rape every man and woman you see. But if you love the presence of somebody and if she/he enjoys having sex with you; why do you then hesitate to enjoy the pleasure of sex which is the greatest gift to humanity.
Could Premarital Sex Be Justified – Part II

In the previous session the religious aspects of premarital sex is discussed. After religion it is the society and conscience play vital roles in deciding over the behavior, likeness and decisions of any person. Even though sex is an inborn inclination in everybody, society and the inner conscience raise sky-high barriers to prevent us to accomplish the basic needs of sex. If we look into the petty reasons given by anyone who wants to establish pre-marriage sex as a crime or sin, it is crystal clear that they are just designed on the basis of selfish motives may be of a nation, a society or a religion and never considering the physical and psychical aspects of human beings.

Let us look at pre-marriage sex through the social point of view. Few countries consider premarital sex as a punishable crime, some nations take is as an immoral act and there are some countries that see premarital sex just as a physical need like food and clothing. Why these differences of thought? Let us have a glimpse on the countries those prohibit or restrict premarital sex. They are mostly underdeveloped countries or developing countries. Those who do not see premarital sex as a physical need are the highly developed countries like USA and UK. In countries like India and other developing or underdeveloped countries the most alarming issue is population and poverty. If the population explodes into millions the only after-effect is the miserable starving and poverty. Thus the society has no other way than restricting the unmarried people from procreation by setting up moral standards and ethical issues. But in highly civilised countries people wish for their freedom and happiness than any morality or ethics.

Now see the role of conscience in pre-marriage sex. Does there really exist any conscience? Is conscience the voice of divinity within us as religions taught us? Conscience is like a pre-written computer program. When a child is born his/her conscience is a 'tabula rasa', means a blank slate. Whet the society and people writes the concepts and so called rules on it blended with ethics and morality with a shadow of spirituality, it becomes the conscience of anyone. When you need to take an action what you have learned and stored in your conscience pop up in your mind just like in a computer. Thus conscience has no super power attached to it. Thus the conscience of an average Indian would say that premarital sex will send him to sufferings in hell while an American will say sex whether in marriage or premarital is a biological need and will refresh the minds.

The concept of virginity is at the extreme level among the people in India, though most of the so called virgins might have lost it even before attaining puberty. What do you mean by virginity? Everyone wants their wife of husband should be an untouched flower. Today in the society men and women live with equal status. Both travel together. Touch each other, hug each other and even kiss on various occasions. Do kissing causes a girl or boy to loose their virginity? If not how a similar body contact but with a different body part could take away the virginity of anybody, if at all there exists any virginity? Virginity is a concept, moreover a fantasy or fictional.

When you are thirsty, you drink water. When you are hungry, you eat food. Then why can’t you have sex when you are aroused. If drinking dirty water could cause you health problems you take precautionary measures. Then why can’t you use precautions, which are largely available at reach, instead of avoiding sex for baseless and senseless reasons. Each thirst of body is to be satisfied; so is sex. But when justifying premarital sex I do not want you to rush into streets and rape every man and woman you see. But if you love the presence of somebody and if she/he enjoys having sex with you; why do you then hesitate to enjoy the pleasure of sex which is the greatest gift to humanity.

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Saneesh Michael (M.A. English Lit.)
Journalist
S/O K.T. Michael

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/teenagers-articles/could-premarital-sex-be-justified-257841.html

Premarital Agreement Myths

5 Myths about Premarital Agreements

Between news coverage, soap operas and family drama, everyone has preconceived notions about premarital agreements and prenuptial agreements. Here are a few of the most common myths, debunked:

Myth 1: Prenuptial agreements are only for wealthy people, my fiancé and I are not rich and so we don't need an agreement.

You may not be rich, but you definitely want to have a successful marriage. Honest discussions regarding how the two of you will approach finances will ensure that there won't be any surprises once you are married. Talking about financial issues in advance insures that you handle money with minimal conflict during your marriage as well as in case of divorce.

Example: You may become rich in the future. Your education, ideas and talents may one day become more valuable than they are today. You need to think about how you'd handle the division of a business, inheritance, patent, book, song, or copyright in the event of a divorce.

Example: Second and third marriages can bring conflict between children from prior relationships and new spouses. Clear discussions about finances in a divorce or premature death situation help everyone avoid conflict later.

Myth 2: Prenuptial agreements are designed to simply protect the wealthier spouse and strip the other spouse of all of his or her rights.

Fact: Prenuptial and premarital agreements should be designed to protect both spouses. Premarital agreements which are unfair and completely one-sided are probably not enforceable in court. The agreement must be fair. The basic requirements for premarital agreements to be enforceable are: signing the agreement must be voluntary, it can't be unfair when it's signed; each party needs to make a full disclosure of your assets and debts. (California Family Code Section 1615. Most states have similar laws.)

Premarital agreements can be designed so that everyone's needs are met.

Example: With a premarital agreement, you will know in advance how your assets and debts would be handled in the event you divorce. You're negotiating the property settlement while you're both in love with each other and you won't be at the mercy of your spouse's generosity or lack of generosity at the time of a divorce.

Example: If you need your agreement to be enforced by the court, you'll be glad that you made it reasonable from the beginning (and therefore enforceable). For example, by providing a reasonable support structure for your spouse in the premarital agreement, in the event of a divorce, this agreement defines the support's limits, terms, amount and duration. If you left it up to a court, you would have no control over any of the terms.

Myth 3: Premarital Agreements Aren't Romantic.

Fact: Jessica Simpson didn't think they were romantic, either. And, there's nothing romantic about fighting about money once you're married because you never discussed how you'd handle your finances. Clearly, premarital agreements are touchy subjects, but consider this quote from the Nolo Press book Prenuptial Agreements: How to Write a Fair and Lasting Contract (Nolo Press 2004):

"While a prenuptial agreement may not seem like a very romantic project, working together to consider and choose the terms of a prenup can actually strengthen your relationship. Learning how to deal respectfully and constructively with each other about finances is a benefit in itself. [A prenup can help you] converse with each other about the important financial matters that are sure to arise in marriage."

Myth 4: Premarital Agreements must deal with every issue that might come up in a divorce.

Fact: You can include as many issues or as few issues as you wish. Because premarital agreements are private contracts, you can make them as detailed as you want.

Example: If the only thing you want for your premarital agreement to accomplish is to protect your pre-marital property, you can limit your premarital agreement to that issue alone.

If the only thing you want for your premarital agreement to accomplish is to outline what would happen in the event of your death you can limit your premarital agreement to that issue alone.

If you want your premarital agreement to cover almost every issue that might come up in a divorce except one or two issues (like spousal support, or contributions to a pension during the marriage, for example), then you can have the agreement cover everything except the issues you want to exclude.

If you want your premarital agreement to cover every issue, you can do that, too.

Myth 5: If we don't get married, my live-in mate won't have any claims to my income or property.

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About the Author:
About the author: Diana Mercer, Attorney-Mediator, is the founder of Peace Talks Mediation Services in Los Angeles, which mediates premarital agreements. Visit http://www.premaritalmediation.com for a free premarital agreement checklist and more information about prenups, mediation, and premarital mediation. For more information about divorce and divorce mediation, visit http://www.peace-talks.com.

Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - Premarital Agreement Myths


Fact: You could risk your income or assets by living together without marrying.

Palimony is a spousal support substitute for alimony or spousal support for people who are not married. Palimony claims are difficult to prove, but that doesn't stop some people from trying.

Also, if you have an oral or written discussion about how you will own property, share income, assets, debts, etc., it's possible to make a claim that contract law applies (as opposed to family law), and that property should be divided even if it's only in one person's name, or only one person paid the bills. There are also real estate partition laws that can dictate how property is divided, forcing an involuntary sale at auction.

If you are going to live together without getting married, you'll want a cohabitation agreement. It's better to decide who contributes to and owns property before you buy things rather than afterwards.

Example: Remember actor Lee Marvin (The Dirty Dozen and more than 60 other movies)? In the 1970's, his live-in girlfriend, Michelle Triola, brought an sued him alleging they had an oral agreement that Lee Marvin agreed he would provide for all her financial support for the rest of her life. (Marvin v. Marvin, 18 Cal. 3d 660 and 122 Cal. App. 3d 871; 176 Cal. Rptr. 555; 1981 Cal. App. LEXIS 2132)

The court ultimately agreed with Michelle. Lee Marvin had to pay her a substantial sum, plus the attorneys had to be paid. Taken in this perspective, a premarital agreement or cohabitation agreement is a bargain.

Conclusion: A carefully crafted premarital or prenuptial agreement can cement your relationship, prompt you to have the hard discussions that engaged couples need to have, and insure that your finances are handled the way you each intend in the event you were to divorce or pass away prematurely.