The marriage is a commitment not only to stay monogamous but to be present as a social and emotional support also. After marriage the lives of both the individuals can become entwined as one and they begun to function as a single entity or unit.
Advantages of Marriage
Marriage provides one with overall stability in life. The spouse becomes an anchor, tied to which, one performs all the other functions of life. This stability is of increasing importance in the ever-changing world of today.
Marriage also leads to creation of a family unit. This family unit in turn further propagates the social ethics as are prevalent in the society. It gives shape and composure to the social set up as a whole. Marriage is not called the first building brick of the society, without any reason.
Ever since man turned into a civilised being, marriage has been the corner stone of the society. It is an accepted norm in all religions and cultures across the world. Marriage enjoys social sanctity like no other human relationship.
Disadvantages of Marriage
A marriage can have some disadvantages also. This is especially true if either one or both the partners have a strong streak of individualism. Individualism is the bane of a happy and contended married life. It can harm the relationship to an enormous extent.
Marriage means sharing. It is sharing of the finances, friends and family. In fact virtually everything that is there in a human relationship is shared in a marriage. Individualism is the exact opposite of this feeling of fraternity.
Individualism is an assertion of one’s own self over and above the context of the relationship. Thus and individualistic person may feel entrapped in the marriage. He or she may not feel comfortable and yearn for greater privacy.
Live in Relationships
The live in relationship is becoming the norm in the western societies. They are becoming so common that it is very much possible that there are more couples who are staying in a live in relationship as compared to those who have tied the knot.
A live in relationship is becoming common in the society as it does not have the strings of commitment attached to it, as a marriage does. One may not get a readymade family but then one is also free from commitments of all kind.
Advantages of a Live in Relationship
A live in relationship has certain distinct advantages over a married life. As has already been stated it is a relationship which is devoid of commitment. Thus it is that one can have an association with multiple partners simultaneously.
In this kind of a relationship even the financial obligations of marriage are absent. In marriage one automatically commits his or her finances towards the betterment of both the spouses. It is an integral part of married life. This however is not the case in a live in relationship.
Furthermore a live in relationship does not bog down an individual to the norms of the society as a marriage will. One can continue to be away from the family and friends of the other without there being any problem on this account.
More than anything else, the biggest advantage of a live in relationship is that it can be brought to an abrupt end. In order to dissolve a marriage, on the other hand, one has to go through lengthy, cumbersome and expensive divorce procedures.
Disadvantages of a Live in Relationship
Nevertheless a live in relationship has got certain disadvantages also, that are associated with it. To begin with its biggest advantage of a lack of commitment on part of either individual is also its biggest drawback.
One cannot depend on one’s partner to the same extent as is possible in marriage. The shoulder is there for certain occasions, but it may not be there in bad times. It lacks the depth of a married relationship.
Same is true in the context of the finances. In the event of a marriage one automatically knows that the spouse is there to fall back upon in difficult times. They may in fact be sharing their finances. However in the event of a live in relationship, this aspect is also missing.
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About The Author
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com
Main internet source about love, marriage, married, tips, online, online tips, advice, intimacy, happines, divorce, relationship, true love, dating, dating online, healthy sexual life
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Monday, March 30, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
The Effects of Divorce on Children
The effects of divorce on children could be massive, but this could be helped. The most common causes for divorce are family problems, physical or emotional abuse, extramarital affairs, work stress and vices. Below are types of divorces you might want to familiarize with:
· Legal divorce – is the lawful end of your marriage where you are allowed to remarry.
· Economic divorce – involves the splitting of assets i.e.: money and property.
· Co-parental divorce – is a type of divorce where both parents agree to support their child even though they no longer have spousal support for each other.
Common effects of divorce on children are psychological problems, poor intellectual development and affected parent-child relationships.
Psychological Effects:
The psychological effects of divorce on children can affect children as young as 6 years of age. Young children can develop anxiety disorders where they experience overwhelming fear of being abandoned. Their feelings of isolation and sadness can also manifest through other problems such as eating disorders.
Poor Intellectual Development:
Children of divorced parents usually display insecurity, neediness, irritability and a constant craving for attention. These types of behavior consequently lead to aggressiveness towards peers, resulting in poor relationships with others. A child's cognitive skills can also become poor. His or her overall academic performance suffers, thus leading to low self-worth and depression later in life.
Affected Parent-Child Relationships:
Oftentimes children will blame themselves for what happened between their parents. They also start to question their moral values and become either rebellious or overly obedient at any point in time.
The effects of divorce on children and teens could be negative or positive depending on the child's coping strategies. Teens often engage in extravagant, promiscuous activities and form no concept of an ideal parent. They themselves are distressed about their future career, marriage and kids. But some do take this as a learning experience and attempt to make better decisions in the future.
Here are common concerns experienced by children of divorced parents:
· Financial worries – Children are especially worried about their future career and finances if they feel that their parents divorced because of money problems.
· Marital concerns – Children usually view failed relationships as somehow having an association with their parents' failed relationship. Because of this, they tend to question marriage a lot in fear of mirroring their parents' divorce.
· Role or status anxiety – Children can also try to play the role of either parent in attempts to "mend" their parents' problems. This is considered to be unhealthy especially in adolescents.
How to Relieve the Negative Effects of Divorce on Children:
Allow your child to speak openly to friends, family members or counselors regarding the divorce in the family. Most children react towards divorce by spending more time outside their home. This can have a good effect, but it can also put them in a vulnerable position where less discipline can lead to drug or alcohol abuse. You should therefore still draw some boundaries and continue building a relationship with your child.
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About the Author:
· Legal divorce – is the lawful end of your marriage where you are allowed to remarry.
· Economic divorce – involves the splitting of assets i.e.: money and property.
· Co-parental divorce – is a type of divorce where both parents agree to support their child even though they no longer have spousal support for each other.
Common effects of divorce on children are psychological problems, poor intellectual development and affected parent-child relationships.
Psychological Effects:
The psychological effects of divorce on children can affect children as young as 6 years of age. Young children can develop anxiety disorders where they experience overwhelming fear of being abandoned. Their feelings of isolation and sadness can also manifest through other problems such as eating disorders.
Poor Intellectual Development:
Children of divorced parents usually display insecurity, neediness, irritability and a constant craving for attention. These types of behavior consequently lead to aggressiveness towards peers, resulting in poor relationships with others. A child's cognitive skills can also become poor. His or her overall academic performance suffers, thus leading to low self-worth and depression later in life.
Affected Parent-Child Relationships:
Oftentimes children will blame themselves for what happened between their parents. They also start to question their moral values and become either rebellious or overly obedient at any point in time.
The effects of divorce on children and teens could be negative or positive depending on the child's coping strategies. Teens often engage in extravagant, promiscuous activities and form no concept of an ideal parent. They themselves are distressed about their future career, marriage and kids. But some do take this as a learning experience and attempt to make better decisions in the future.
Here are common concerns experienced by children of divorced parents:
· Financial worries – Children are especially worried about their future career and finances if they feel that their parents divorced because of money problems.
· Marital concerns – Children usually view failed relationships as somehow having an association with their parents' failed relationship. Because of this, they tend to question marriage a lot in fear of mirroring their parents' divorce.
· Role or status anxiety – Children can also try to play the role of either parent in attempts to "mend" their parents' problems. This is considered to be unhealthy especially in adolescents.
How to Relieve the Negative Effects of Divorce on Children:
Allow your child to speak openly to friends, family members or counselors regarding the divorce in the family. Most children react towards divorce by spending more time outside their home. This can have a good effect, but it can also put them in a vulnerable position where less discipline can lead to drug or alcohol abuse. You should therefore still draw some boundaries and continue building a relationship with your child.
--------
About the Author:
What are the effects of divorce on children? Is your child coping well? Find out from the site of Isha Rowd on divorce and kids.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/the-effects-of-divorce-on-children-217594.html
A Good Choice: Collaborative Divorce
We know from long experience that only collaborative divorce -- not old-style adversarial legal representation, and not a single mediator working with or without lawyers in the picture -- views divorce as a complex experience requiring advice and counsel from multiple perspectives if it is to be navigated well. Collaborative divorce prepares you to deal with the emotional challenges and changes associated with divorce and provides the resources that can best help you make a healthy transition from married to single.
Collaborative divorce builds in important protections for children, too. It informs you fully about how your children are experiencing the divorce and what they need to weather the big changes in their family structure without harm. It helps protect your future relationship with your spouse by informing both of you fully -- together, at the same time -- about the financial realities of your marriage and divorce in a way that eliminates pointless arguments about economic issues. It also teaches you and your spouse new ways of problem solving and conflict resolution so that you develop useful skills for addressing your differences more constructively in the future. Further, collaborative divorce
Helps you clarify your individual and shared values and priorities
Helps you and your spouse reach maximum consensus
Includes complete advice about the law without using legal rights as the sole template for negotiation and resolution
Helps you and your spouse resolve serious differences creatively and without destructive conflict
Helps parents improve their ability to coparent after divorce
Builds in agreements about resolution of future differences after the divorce is over
Focuses not only on resolving past differences but also on planning for healthy responses to current challenges and on laying a strong foundation for the future after the divorce is over
Aims toward deep resolution, not shallow peace
Why You Do Not Want an "Old-Style Divorce"
We're confident that, like the people we work with every day, you want to protect yourself and your loved ones from the havoc that an old-style divorce can wreak in your lives. Let's summarize the facts you now know about old-style divorce:
It is based on the centuries-old belief that divorce is wrong and abnormal
It seeks to find fault and mete out punishment
It focuses on the past
It is premised on conflict
It is constrained by an arbitrary legal framework intended to resolve matters of right and wrong by the exchange of money
It aims at a deal, not deep resolution
It fails to take into account current understandings of how people are wired, what they need in times of change, what children need during and after divorce, and how families change and restructure
What's more, we know that old-style divorce is bad for individuals, families, and communities because
It's expensive
It's hurtful and damaging
It's "one size fits all"
It deems irrelevant many common concerns that are extremely important to most people because judges can't issue enforceable orders about them
It focuses on the past
It encourages unrealistic expectations on the part of both spouses about what should happen in the divorce
It resolves disputes through competing predictions of what a judge would do rather than focusing on what you and your partner can agree on
It won't provide essential help to you or those you care about
The emotional and social costs are incalculable
Luckily, we live in an era when there is finally a better option -- one that can end a marriage without destroying a family or setting into motion negative effects that can bedevil family members for a lifetime.
Why Collaborative Divorce Works So Well
The reasons why collaborative divorce does such a good job of helping most people achieve their own "best divorce" are simple. Collaborative divorce addresses the financial and legal matters that must be resolved in any divorce, but it does so more effectively because it provides the built-in help of three professions, not just one. The design of collaborative divorce -- with its team of professionals, its systematic attention to values, its emphasis on healthy relationships, and its focus on the future -- takes into account the broad spectrum of what really matters to most people when their marriages end. It considers not only the two spouses but those around them who also matter to the divorcing couple and who will be both directly and indirectly affected by a good or a bad divorce: children, families, and even extended families, friends, and colleagues. It applies what we know about marriage and divorce from the realms of psychology, sociology, history, law, communication theory, conflict resolution theory, finance, and other realms in a very practical, useful, and concrete way.
Collaborative Divorce Deals With What People Actually Experience in Divorce
Unlike any other divorce conflict resolution process that has come before, collaborative divorce teams make constant use of vital information about how people are "wired," how we think, how our emotions affect our ability to communicate effectively and to process information, how we experience pain and loss, how we recover from the end of a marriage, what our children are experiencing and what they need in the divorce, and what the needs of each member of the family after the divorce are likely to be. In this way, collaborative divorce offers constructive, comprehensive, multidisciplinary professional support that responds to the actual complexities of divorce as people experience it, rather than imposing an old-fashioned, limited institutional legal point of view as the sole perspective on a complex human experience.
Reprinted from Collaborative Divorce: The Revolutionary New Way to Restructure Your Family, Resolve Legal Issues, and Move on with Your Life by Pauline H. Tesler, M.A., J.D., & Peggy Thompson, Ph.D. Copyright © 2006 Pauline H. Tesler & Peggy Thompson. Published by Regan Books; June 2006;$25.95US/$33.50CAN; 0-06-088943-8
---
About the Author:
Pauline H. Tesler, M.A., J.D., has been a specialist in family law certified by California State Bar Board of Legal Specialization since 1985. She is a fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband. www.lawtsf.com
Peggy Thompson, Ph.D., has been a licensed psychologist specializing in families and children for thirty years. For the past fifteen years, she has been actively involved in the development and practice of collaborative divorce. Peggy lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband. www.cdadivorce.com
Together they confounded the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals.
For more information, please visit www.collaborativedivorcebook.com
Collaborative divorce builds in important protections for children, too. It informs you fully about how your children are experiencing the divorce and what they need to weather the big changes in their family structure without harm. It helps protect your future relationship with your spouse by informing both of you fully -- together, at the same time -- about the financial realities of your marriage and divorce in a way that eliminates pointless arguments about economic issues. It also teaches you and your spouse new ways of problem solving and conflict resolution so that you develop useful skills for addressing your differences more constructively in the future. Further, collaborative divorce
Helps you clarify your individual and shared values and priorities
Helps you and your spouse reach maximum consensus
Includes complete advice about the law without using legal rights as the sole template for negotiation and resolution
Helps you and your spouse resolve serious differences creatively and without destructive conflict
Helps parents improve their ability to coparent after divorce
Builds in agreements about resolution of future differences after the divorce is over
Focuses not only on resolving past differences but also on planning for healthy responses to current challenges and on laying a strong foundation for the future after the divorce is over
Aims toward deep resolution, not shallow peace
Why You Do Not Want an "Old-Style Divorce"
We're confident that, like the people we work with every day, you want to protect yourself and your loved ones from the havoc that an old-style divorce can wreak in your lives. Let's summarize the facts you now know about old-style divorce:
It is based on the centuries-old belief that divorce is wrong and abnormal
It seeks to find fault and mete out punishment
It focuses on the past
It is premised on conflict
It is constrained by an arbitrary legal framework intended to resolve matters of right and wrong by the exchange of money
It aims at a deal, not deep resolution
It fails to take into account current understandings of how people are wired, what they need in times of change, what children need during and after divorce, and how families change and restructure
What's more, we know that old-style divorce is bad for individuals, families, and communities because
It's expensive
It's hurtful and damaging
It's "one size fits all"
It deems irrelevant many common concerns that are extremely important to most people because judges can't issue enforceable orders about them
It focuses on the past
It encourages unrealistic expectations on the part of both spouses about what should happen in the divorce
It resolves disputes through competing predictions of what a judge would do rather than focusing on what you and your partner can agree on
It won't provide essential help to you or those you care about
The emotional and social costs are incalculable
Luckily, we live in an era when there is finally a better option -- one that can end a marriage without destroying a family or setting into motion negative effects that can bedevil family members for a lifetime.
Why Collaborative Divorce Works So Well
The reasons why collaborative divorce does such a good job of helping most people achieve their own "best divorce" are simple. Collaborative divorce addresses the financial and legal matters that must be resolved in any divorce, but it does so more effectively because it provides the built-in help of three professions, not just one. The design of collaborative divorce -- with its team of professionals, its systematic attention to values, its emphasis on healthy relationships, and its focus on the future -- takes into account the broad spectrum of what really matters to most people when their marriages end. It considers not only the two spouses but those around them who also matter to the divorcing couple and who will be both directly and indirectly affected by a good or a bad divorce: children, families, and even extended families, friends, and colleagues. It applies what we know about marriage and divorce from the realms of psychology, sociology, history, law, communication theory, conflict resolution theory, finance, and other realms in a very practical, useful, and concrete way.
Collaborative Divorce Deals With What People Actually Experience in Divorce
Unlike any other divorce conflict resolution process that has come before, collaborative divorce teams make constant use of vital information about how people are "wired," how we think, how our emotions affect our ability to communicate effectively and to process information, how we experience pain and loss, how we recover from the end of a marriage, what our children are experiencing and what they need in the divorce, and what the needs of each member of the family after the divorce are likely to be. In this way, collaborative divorce offers constructive, comprehensive, multidisciplinary professional support that responds to the actual complexities of divorce as people experience it, rather than imposing an old-fashioned, limited institutional legal point of view as the sole perspective on a complex human experience.
Reprinted from Collaborative Divorce: The Revolutionary New Way to Restructure Your Family, Resolve Legal Issues, and Move on with Your Life by Pauline H. Tesler, M.A., J.D., & Peggy Thompson, Ph.D. Copyright © 2006 Pauline H. Tesler & Peggy Thompson. Published by Regan Books; June 2006;$25.95US/$33.50CAN; 0-06-088943-8
---
About the Author:
Pauline H. Tesler, M.A., J.D., has been a specialist in family law certified by California State Bar Board of Legal Specialization since 1985. She is a fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers and lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband. www.lawtsf.com
Peggy Thompson, Ph.D., has been a licensed psychologist specializing in families and children for thirty years. For the past fifteen years, she has been actively involved in the development and practice of collaborative divorce. Peggy lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband. www.cdadivorce.com
Together they confounded the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals.
For more information, please visit www.collaborativedivorcebook.com
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/divorce-articles/a-good-choice-collaborative-divorce-33969.html
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Live-in Relationships: an Alternative to Marriage
by: James Walsh
The marriage is a commitment not only to stay monogamous but to be present as a social and emotional support also. After marriage the lives of both the individuals can become entwined as one and they begun to function as a single entity or unit.
Advantages of Marriage
Marriage provides one with overall stability in life. The spouse becomes an anchor, tied to which, one performs all the other functions of life. This stability is of increasing importance in the ever-changing world of today.
Marriage also leads to creation of a family unit. This family unit in turn further propagates the social ethics as are prevalent in the society. It gives shape and composure to the social set up as a whole. Marriage is not called the first building brick of the society, without any reason.
Ever since man turned into a civilised being, marriage has been the corner stone of the society. It is an accepted norm in all religions and cultures across the world. Marriage enjoys social sanctity like no other human relationship.
Disadvantages of Marriage
A marriage can have some disadvantages also. This is especially true if either one or both the partners have a strong streak of individualism. Individualism is the bane of a happy and contended married life. It can harm the relationship to an enormous extent.
Marriage means sharing. It is sharing of the finances, friends and family. In fact virtually everything that is there in a human relationship is shared in a marriage. Individualism is the exact opposite of this feeling of fraternity.
Individualism is an assertion of one’s own self over and above the context of the relationship. Thus and individualistic person may feel entrapped in the marriage. He or she may not feel comfortable and yearn for greater privacy.
Live in Relationships
The live in relationship is becoming the norm in the western societies. They are becoming so common that it is very much possible that there are more couples who are staying in a live in relationship as compared to those who have tied the knot.
A live in relationship is becoming common in the society as it does not have the strings of commitment attached to it, as a marriage does. One may not get a readymade family but then one is also free from commitments of all kind.
Advantages of a Live in Relationship
A live in relationship has certain distinct advantages over a married life. As has already been stated it is a relationship which is devoid of commitment. Thus it is that one can have an association with multiple partners simultaneously.
In this kind of a relationship even the financial obligations of marriage are absent. In marriage one automatically commits his or her finances towards the betterment of both the spouses. It is an integral part of married life. This however is not the case in a live in relationship.
Furthermore a live in relationship does not bog down an individual to the norms of the society as a marriage will. One can continue to be away from the family and friends of the other without there being any problem on this account.
More than anything else, the biggest advantage of a live in relationship is that it can be brought to an abrupt end. In order to dissolve a marriage, on the other hand, one has to go through lengthy, cumbersome and expensive divorce procedures.
Disadvantages of a Live in Relationship
Nevertheless a live in relationship has got certain disadvantages also, that are associated with it. To begin with its biggest advantage of a lack of commitment on part of either individual is also its biggest drawback.
One cannot depend on one’s partner to the same extent as is possible in marriage. The shoulder is there for certain occasions, but it may not be there in bad times. It lacks the depth of a married relationship.
Same is true in the context of the finances. In the event of a marriage one automatically knows that the spouse is there to fall back upon in difficult times. They may in fact be sharing their finances. However in the event of a live in relationship, this aspect is also missing.
About The Author
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com
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