Save Your Marriage - Save Your Children

I live in a town that has a beautiful meditation garden sitting atop 100-foot bluffs that look out over the Pacific Ocean. It is a great tourist spot whose beauty is not overlooked by us locals. Sometimes I go as often as two or three times a week, even if it is for just a few minutes. Sundays are a particularly busy time for the garden and it is always a pleasure to smile at others who are enjoying the beauty and tangible spiritual vibration. Yesterday when I went to the garden there was a lady with two little children, the cutest little girls you could ever imagine. One was four and a half who was just visited by the Tooth Fairy and the other was still backpack size.

It was obvious the lady had never come there before and I sort of drifted into the role of a tour guide. Although she was very sweet she seemed a bit tense and it wasn't very long before she revealed to me that she had just been divorced. As any of my kids would tell you I am very sensitive to that word: divorce. Over the years it has become abundantly clear to me that a divorce is something that adults do, and children go through.

Save Your Marriage, Save Your Children" Has Become One of My Battle Cries.
Have you ever done something you know you should not have done but instead of admitting it and accepting the results you find ways to rationalize? Of course you have and so has everyone else. We humans are pretty clever in our ignorance. When it comes to describing the results of divorce we have become masters of ignorance. Not only have we accepted divorce as normal but we have excused it completely and even come up with so-called benefits. We are now at the point where we suffer unbelievably if we have to go through a divorce yet publicly act as if it is no big deal. But it is a big deal. It is a huge deal and what it does to parents is nothing compared to what it does to children.

The Foundational Pillars of Each Child is The Mother and
The Father in Unity
Parents, do you know that these are not your children? You didn't create them. These children are God's. They are entrusted to those willing to sacrifice much for the privilege of raising His children. Yet our society has turned children into possessions that are fought over in courts of law. Despite all of the rhetoric of putting the children first during a divorce or separation, parents ignore the fundamental reality that they are trading away their commitment and obligations for the delusive possibility of an easier life when divorced. It won't come. All that will happen will be suffering on top of suffering as you watch your children lose the sure footedness they used to have in an intact marriage.

All Marriages are Fixable When You Know How
I have dedicated my life to saving children by saving marriages. God never intended for us to suffer in marriage; it is merely our ignorance of what is required that creates so much suffering. Don't give up. If your marriage isn't getting better every day it means you are doing something wrong. You don't need counseling, you just need to understand marriage.
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About the Author:

I wrote Lessons For A Happy Marriage to help people save their troubled marriage and end the marriage crisis in our country; it's about saving children. Let's stop divorce. The problems go beyond the failures of marriage counselors. My life's mission is to eradicate the need for divorce through focused education. If you're married, tell your soul mate, "I love you."

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/save-your-marriage-save-your-children-757367.html

The Effects of Divorce on Children

The effects of divorce on children could be massive, but this could be helped. The most common causes for divorce are family problems, physical or emotional abuse, extramarital affairs, work stress and vices. Below are types of divorces you might want to familiarize with:
· Legal divorce – is the lawful end of your marriage where you are allowed to remarry.
· Economic divorce – involves the splitting of assets i.e.: money and property.
· Co-parental divorce – is a type of divorce where both parents agree to support their child even though they no longer have spousal support for each other.

Common effects of divorce on children are psychological problems, poor intellectual development and affected parent-child relationships.

Psychological Effects:

The psychological effects of divorce on children can affect children as young as 6 years of age. Young children can develop anxiety disorders where they experience overwhelming fear of being abandoned. Their feelings of isolation and sadness can also manifest through other problems such as eating disorders.

Poor Intellectual Development:

Children of divorced parents usually display insecurity, neediness, irritability and a constant craving for attention. These types of behavior consequently lead to aggressiveness towards peers, resulting in poor relationships with others. A child's cognitive skills can also become poor. His or her overall academic performance suffers, thus leading to low self-worth and depression later in life.

Affected Parent-Child Relationships:

Oftentimes children will blame themselves for what happened between their parents. They also start to question their moral values and become either rebellious or overly obedient at any point in time.

The effects of divorce on children and teens could be negative or positive depending on the child's coping strategies. Teens often engage in extravagant, promiscuous activities and form no concept of an ideal parent. They themselves are distressed about their future career, marriage and kids. But some do take this as a learning experience and attempt to make better decisions in the future.

Here are common concerns experienced by children of divorced parents:

· Financial worries – Children are especially worried about their future career and finances if they feel that their parents divorced because of money problems.
· Marital concerns – Children usually view failed relationships as somehow having an association with their parents' failed relationship. Because of this, they tend to question marriage a lot in fear of mirroring their parents' divorce.
· Role or status anxiety – Children can also try to play the role of either parent in attempts to "mend" their parents' problems. This is considered to be unhealthy especially in adolescents.

How to Relieve the Negative Effects of Divorce on Children:

Allow your child to speak openly to friends, family members or counselors regarding the divorce in the family. Most children react towards divorce by spending more time outside their home. This can have a good effect, but it can also put them in a vulnerable position where less discipline can lead to drug or alcohol abuse. You should therefore still draw some boundaries and continue building a relationship with your child.
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About the Author:

What are the effects of divorce on children? Is your child coping well? Find out from the site of Isha Rowd on divorce and kids.

Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/the-effects-of-divorce-on-children-217594.html