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Sunday, November 8, 2009
Parenting Through Divorce
What ever your grounds for getting a divorce is, you shouldn’t put your youngsters in the center of it. Divorce may happen to be the end of your marriage, simply it isn’t the end of your task as a parent. Divorce parenting can be a tough situation if not done properly. If you and your ex partner can come to an arrangement on particular guidelines then you might merely be able to get out of this situation. Most experts can concur that even though divorce parenting isn’t optimal, active parents play a big role in a child’s living. So here are a few points for you to observe. Consider discussing this program with your ex spouse.
Divorce Parenting with a Plan
Your first decision should be a visitation schedule. Now I don’t know what your position is, but it will be positive for your kids if you share custody. If you happen to get full custody of your minors than, please make sure your ex partner is involved. I understand you might sometimes be angry at your ex spouse, only you don’t want to prevent your kids from seeing their father or mother.
Your next order of concern should be finances. Now typically speaking the person who gets custody gets 10% - 25% of the other parent’s income. I tend to believe that this is the wrong way of conducting with the situation. I grew up with separate parents, and it was more horrible when my mother took my father to court for child support. Each time my father would come see me, they would start fighting. The easiest times I got growing up were when we were all together. My parents agree to split costs and custody evenly. I urge you follow a similar plan. You should split the costs of the spending for your minors right down the middle. This will ensure a solid family relationship.
You might need to discuss your children’s education. You should both be playing a role in your children’s education. It is fine if you decide to take care of your kids at different times, only when it comes to education you should both be there in helping them learn. Since my parents were fighting at the beginning of my childhood; I used to go to the library to study and learn. You know I have never been to Disney World, but going to the library felt like that for me.
This is the most key part of divorce parenting and parenting in whole, discipline. You need to have a certain set of house rules and discipline that work best with both of you. You don’t want one parent being the strict one, while the other one plays the gracious one. Even though you live in other households you are still considered a couple when it comes to your children’s eyes. If you desire to learn more about discipline see this website: http://www.parentinghelpcentral.com/parenting-discipline/parenting-discipline-discipline-in-this-generation As long as you both make similar guidelines when it comes to disciplining you should do fine.
Working together as divorce parents might be tedious at first, but as long as you follow a set plan you should be able to make the transition smoother on your kids. Just remember be respectful of your ex partner and don’t place your minors in the center of anything.
About The Author
After having a rough childhood, I have made it my goal to help parents with advice on parenting in general. You can read more on this subject at http://www.parentinghelpcentral.com/divorce-parenting/divorce-parenting-parenting-after-a-divorce/ or about more on http://www.parentinghelpcentral.com/
Article Source:
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/parenting/article_1976.shtml
Friday, November 6, 2009
How to Save Marriage From Divorce
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Is it really possible to save marriage from divorce? Or is the recent trend for one in three marriages to end in divorce a sign that we have grown up as a society and that freedom and self-determination have advanced?
Well, consider this. In a recent poll in the UK, pre-teen kids were asked:
"If you were king or queen of the world, what rules would you make?"
It appears that 'save marriage from divorce' was high on their agenda! Not many people expected the kids' Number One rule to be 'Ban divorce'!
Yet it was.
Our kids know the ugly side of divorce. They don't need films like 'War of the Roses' and 'Kramer versus Kramer' to bring this home. Many have experienced the sadness, fear and bitterness that more often than not accompany divorce - or they've witnessed it among their friends.
The (UK) National Child Development Study (April 2008) concluded:
"Divorce has repercussions that reverberate through childhood and into adulthood... Children from disrupted families tend to do less well in school and subsequent careers than their peers. They are also more likely to experience the break-up of their own partnerships."
No wonder many parents AND their children want to save marriage from divorce!
Yet so many parents go ahead with divorce, not because they are callous or uncaring, but because they can see no other way forward. They simply don't know where to turn for help, or they lack the impetus to tell others about their difficulties.
Often parents are unaware of their own weaknesses. Frequently they go into a marriage with ill-conceived expectations, so their demands can be unreasonable. The start of the breakup may be under way as soon as the marriage has begun.
Nobody doubts the sincerity of couples who take their wedding vows, and promise to love and support each other even through the bad times. But when those 'bad times' arrive, they often just don't know how to get through them.
It's made worse by the fact that we live in a 'disposable' society. We've become accustomed to having our way, to moving from one thing to another when we feel displeased or frustrated. Without a solid training in early childhood, it's difficult to persevere and see things through.
And the fact that the laws on divorce have been relaxed makes it so much easier to break-up rather than attempt to save marriage from divorce.
There's no denying that divorce has an ugly side - and it's only human to seek the easy way out in order to avoid staying in an unpleasant situation.
Sometimes parents benefit from divorce, but studies show that children rarely do. If you are keen to save your marriage from divorce, bear in mind that it will be a major challenge.
You may have to seek professional marriage counseling. This may be expensive or simply not available, but the good news is that you can also access many 'save marriage from divorce' resources online. There's no need to go it alone!
About The Author
Find out more about the best resources to help a marriage or relationship here: http://fssgold.com/FamilySoftshop/save-marriage/. You can also subscribe to the free Newsletter, Family Matters, to help with all aspects of family life.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Cheap Divorce Lawyers
Divorce lawyers are the obvious option when instigating divorce proceedings. It’s always best to seek qualified legal counsel, but it’s not wholly necessary for the entire process.
The Yellow Pages, and the Internet are great for finding cheap divorce lawyers, but a lot of people are happy relying on word of mouth. It sounds a little old fashioned, but it still works, however dated.
It is compulsory that both the parties file for the Pro Se divorce, instead of one opting for a lawyer and the other going in for the do it yourself divorce. Also, those in military cannot file through this method while in service. A lawyer is compulsory for such military divorce cases. History of physical or mental abuse on either partner by the other, debt, bankruptcy etc., are other conditions that must not be present while filing for a Pro se divorce case. It is also a condition that both the parties are financially well off after the divorce and would not need any kind of support from the other, such as alimony.
Pro Se divorces, as mentioned, involve a lot of legalities that both the partners must consider before opting for this method of divorce. However, one major advantage with this kind of divorce is that it saves a lot of money in form of lawyer fee. But one disadvantage would be that the clients would need to represent themselves in the court with no legal help from a lawyer. Getting the initial paperwork reviewed by an experienced lawyer would be a good choice before filing the papers. Cheap divorce lawyer .This would ensure that all the requisite documents are being provided and getting a separation is only a matter of time even with individual representation in the court without the assistance of a lawyer. The list of documents to be submitted is available on the Internet on websites that help with Pro Se divorces and are relatively easy to locate.
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Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - Cheap Divorce Lawyers
The Myth Of The High Rate Of Divorce
In the process of preparing for this article, I learned what I had long suspected. The commonly quoted numbers are overstated myths, the more accurate numbers reflect complex factors, and that our society really has two very separate divorce rates, a lower rate (by half) for college-educated women who marry after the age of 25 and a much higher rate for poor, primarily minority women who marry before the age of 25 and do not have a college degree (most of the research focused on women; the little I read about men suggested similar outcomes).
The Statistics:
A false conclusion in the 1970s that half of all first marriages ended in divorce was based on the simple but completely wrong analysis of the marriage and divorce rates per 1000 people in the U.S. A similar abuse of statistical analysis led to the conclusion that 60% of all second marriages ended in divorce. These errors have had a profound impact on attitudes about marriage in our society and it is a terrible injustice that there wasn't more of an effort to get accurate data (essentially only obtainable by following a significant number of couples over time and measure the outcomes) or that newer, more accurate and optimistic data isn't being heavily reported in the media.
It is now clear that the divorce rate in first marriages probably peaked at about 40% for first marriages around 1980 and has been declining since to about 30% in the early 2000s. This is a dramatic difference. Rather than view marriage as a 50-50 shot in the dark it can be viewed as a having 70% likelihood of succeeding. But even to use that kind of generalization, i.e., one simple statistic for all marriages, grossly distorts what is actually going on.
The key is that the research shows that starting in the 1980s education, specifically a college degree for women, began to create a substantial divergence in marital outcomes, with the divorce rate for college-educated women dropping to about 20%, half the rate for non-college-educated women. Even this is more complex, since the non-college educated women marry younger and are poorer than their college grad peers. These two factors, age at marriage and income level, have strong relationships to divorce rates; the older the partners and the higher the income, the more likely the couple stays married. Obviously, getting a college degree is reflected in both these factors.
Thus, we reach an even more dramatic conclusion: That for college educated women who marry after the age of 25 and have established an independent source of income, the divorce rate is only 20%!
Of course, this has its flip side, that the women who marry younger and divorce more frequently are predominately Black and Hispanic women from poorer environments. The highest divorce rate, exceeding 50%, is for Black women in high poverty areas. These women clearly face extraordinary challenges and society would do well to find ways to reduce not just teen pregnancies but early marriages among the poor and develop programs that train and educate the poor, which will not only delay marriage but provide the educational and financial foundation that is required to increase the probability of a marriage being successful. Early marriage, early pregnancy, early divorce is a cycle of broken families that contributes significantly to maintaining poverty. The cost to our society is enormous.
Here is some additional data about divorce in first marriages before moving on to the limited data available about second marriages. Divorce rates are cumulative statistics, i.e., they don't occur at a single moment in time but add up over the years of marriage and do so at different rates. After reviewing numerous sources, it appears that about 10% of all marriages end in divorce during the first five years and another 10% by the tenth year. Thus, half of all divorces are within the first ten years. (Keep in mind this is mixing the disparate college-non-college group rates.) The 30% divorce rate is not reached until the 18th year of marriage and the 40% rate is not reached until the 50th year of marriage! Thus, not only is the rate of divorce much lower than previously thought but at least half of all divorces occur within the first ten years and then the rate of divorce slows dramatically. Since the divorce rate for women married by 18 is 48% in the first ten years and that group, once again, is primarily poor, minority women, the rate for educated couples is much less during those first ten years.
No wonder the divorce rate in Massachusetts is the lowest in the country. We have the highest percentage of college graduates. That explains why I have so many first marriage friends!
Finding meaningful data about the divorce rates for second marriages was difficult. But knowing that the rate for first marriages has been grossly overstated and poorly understood for decades suggested a likely similar outcome for the data on second marriages. One report indicated that the divorce rate for remarried, white women is 15% after three years and 25% after five years. This ongoing study indicated a definite slowing of the rate over time but did not have enough years measured to draw more long-term conclusions. However, it did indicate that the same factors with first divorces were at play here. Age, education, and income levels were also highly correlated with the outcomes of second marriages. For example, women who remarried before the age of 25 had a very high divorce rate of 47%, while women who remarried over the age of 25 only had a divorce rate of 34%. The latter is actually about the same for first marriages and likely also would prove to be an average of different rates based socioeconomic factors. Thus, my take on this limited amount of data is that divorce rates for second marriages may not be very different than those for first marriages. So my small sample of friends, who remarried older, had college degrees, and joint incomes, is probably not a distorted view of the success rate of second marriages.
Cohabitation:
In the course of gathering information about divorce rates, I came across a few articles describing the growing frequency of couples choosing cohabitation over marriage. I don't have any figures that I consider accurate enough to report on the percentage of cohabitating couples but a July 24, 2007 Boston Globe article on cohabitating parents sheds some light and raises some serious concerns about this trend.
I must admit a bias here. From my professional experience, I believe cohabitating couples are afraid of the commitment that marriage requires. Certainly a piece of this is what I stated at the beginning of this article, that the myth of the divorce rate has placed a dark cloud over the institution of marriage. The reason for my concern is the following data reported in the Globe article. There is a marked increase in births to cohabitating couples, up from 29% in the early 1980s to 53% in the late 1990s. When you compare what has happened to those relationships when the child is two years old, 30% of the cohabitating couples are no longer together while only 6% of the married couples are divorced. This is another serious societal problem as it contributes to the U.S. having the lowest rate of all Western countries, 63%, of children being raised by both biological parents.
In addition, the general data suggests that cohabitating couples break up at twice the rate of married couples. Of course, this kind of simple statistic hides many complex factors with regard to who actually constitutes the population of cohabitating couples and the likelihood that many choose to live together with no real intention of permanence. However, my main point here is the concern that many couples may be choosing cohabitation over marriage because they actually believe that the institution of marriage is unhealthy and too risky, a conclusion that my review of divorce rates strongly disputes.
Conclusion:
The historical belief that 50% of all marriages end in divorce and that over 60% of all second marriages end in divorce appears to be grossly overstated myths. Not only is the general divorce rate most likely to have never exceeded 40% but the current rate is probably closer to 30%. A closer look at even these lower rates indicate that there are really two separate groups with very different rates: a woman who is over 25, has a college degree, and an independent income have only a 20% probability of her marriage ending in divorce; a woman who marries younger than 25, without a college degree and lacking an independent income has a 40% probability of her marriage ending in divorce.
Thus, factors of age, education, and income appear to play a significant role in influencing the outcome of marriages and that for the older, more educated woman, getting married is not a crap shoot but, in fact, it is highly likely to produce a stable, lifelong relationship.
Kalman Heller
Dr. Heller is a clinical psychologist, now retired, who specialized in providing services to children, families, and couples since 1968. He has written over 150 columns about parenting and marriage which are available on his website, http://www.drheller.com.
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About the Author:
Dr. Heller is a clinical psychologist, now retired, who specialized in providing services to children, families, and couples since 1968. He has written over 150 columns about parenting and marriage which are available on his website, http://www.drheller.com.
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - The Myth Of The High Rate Of Divorce
Divorce - Court Room Tips
Here are a few tips to help prepare you for the Court Room experience:
1. First, I strongly recommend you try to settle as many issues as possible before entering the Court Room. This means the judge won't be in control of everything.
2. Do not expect the Judge will always make decisions in your favor. There are three directions the judge can go when making a decision: Your way, your spouse's way, or the Judge's way. As you can see, two out three are not in your favor.
3. Discuss how you should act, and when to speak with you attorney before going into the courtroom. Do not speak unless asked to do so by the Judge.
4. When addressing the Judge with respect by addressing him/her as "Your Honor."
5. Never speak to or make comments to your spouse when you are before the Judge.
6. Leave all hostile and negative emotions at the door. Do not make faces or gestures when the judge or your spouse's attorney is speaking. Judges see this and do not appreciate it.
7. Dress for success. Your attorney will have a certain strategy on how he/she wants you to be portrayed. Therefore, consult your attorney on how he/she wants you to dress.
8. Take notes. Don't leave anything to chance. Your attorney will be very busy during the process and cannot remember or write everything down.
9. Be prepared and stay organized. Bring as much information, documentation and any pertinent documents that you possibly can with you. It is better to have too much ammunition than not enough.
10. Be prepared to be in the court house for some time. You will sometimes wait for hours before your case is called.
You can get more divorce tips and strategies at www.DivorceAmmo.com
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About the Author:
Visit http://www.DivorceAmmo.com
Divorce Ammo - What They Don't Tell You About Divorce
Arm yourself with divorce tips, advice, and strategies that will save you thousands on your Divorce!
Article Source: ArticlesBase.com - Divorce - Court Room Tips
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Hire the Best Divorce Lawyer to Fight for your Right
The best divorce lawyer is usually someone with a track record of successful cases to his name. The lawyer is also well equipped to deal with both the technical and legal issues that crop up in a divorce. Especially when a divorce turns ugly and the couple is involved in an embittered fight for legal rights it is best to seek the counsel of the best divorce lawyer. A divorce involves many separate aspects like the financial settlements of the assets that belong to the couple whether jointly or individually. The divorce case gets further complicated when no pre-nuptial agreements are in place. Another sensitive issue that is common to many divorce cases is the decision regarding the child custody. It can be a difficult and emotional decision for the couple to make and it is best to let the best divorce lawyer handle your case and help you in getting the custody rights of your child.
The best divorce lawyer will also be the most competent person to handle and sort out the alimony settlement of the spouse whom he is representing. The spouse who has hired the better lawyer will definitely be in a stronger position to bargain for justified alimony rights and can tilt the case in their favor. The divorce cases involve many legal loopholes that only an experienced lawyer can discern and handle with care. The best divorce lawyer is also well equipped to deal with the emotional situation of the client and in tough times like this it is often that the lawyer becomes the client’s best friend and emotional support.
A divorce is always an unpleasant situation but however when the couple has no chances of a positive reconciliation it is perhaps the best way to go separate ways. Divorce under such circumstances is not only the best option but is also inevitable sooner or later. So it is the most practical way to hire the services of the best divorce lawyer and settle out the divorce proceedings in a manner most advantageous to the client. A divorce should not be considered as the end of a life but rather as a fresh opportunity given to the individuals to start their life all over again.
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About the Author:
Damyel Flower is an exprienced divorce lawyer.He has successfully handled many divorce cases.He gives advice to clients who are looking for a art lawyer,best divorce lawyer,celebrity divorce lawyer.To hire services of a lawyer in New York and any legal advice visit www.mtllp.com
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/law-articles/hire-the-best-divorce-lawyer-to-fight-for-your-right-216207.html
Why to Select an Efficient Divorce Lawyer Nyc?
In fact, this is the time when you should become strong and make practical decisions. Though during such tough circumstances of life, this isn’t easy but a good divorce lawyer NYC stands as your support and gives you strength to face everything with a positive outlook rather than being weak on your stand due to emotional distress. Hence, it is necessary to hire a competent divorce lawyer who has practiced and have some experience in family law.
Besides the financial division of assets, child custody is also a crucial aspect of a divorce case that has to be subtly handled. Only a skilled divorce lawyer NYC should be trusted to deal in such matters as there is nothing more than children that are valued by parents. So, it is imperative that both the partners will try their level best to get the custody of their children. So, your lawyer must be ready with right allegations that favor your case.
The legal laws of US states differ according to the state, so do not forget to hire a divorce lawyer who practices in New York only ad are well-acquainted with divorce laws of the New York state. You can look for references of good divorce lawyer NYC in Yellow Pages, online directories, New York State Bar Association and from family and friends.
Once you select some of the good divorce lawyers, you can arrange for an interview with them. It is at this time when you can judge the actual potential of the lawyer, your comfort level with them and choose the best divorce attorney NYC who will represent your case in the court of law.
Some of the questions that you can ask these divorce lawyers in the interview are:
Their experience in New York family law?
Their Cost/fee for the divorce case?
If they provide retainer agreement in the written form?
If the divorce lawyer will handle the case himself/herself or if their legal assistants would be dealing with the case?
If he/she is the member with the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers?
Answer to these questions will help you select the best divorce attorney in New York to handle your case. So, do not worry anymore as you have the assistance of the expert lawyers to represent your case.
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About the Author:
Damyel Flower is an experienced consultant on divorce matters.He has consulted successfully on thousands of divorce cases as well as cases for Art Law etc. He consults exclusively for MTLLP. Get services of Divorce lawyer NYC, art lawyer New York, celebrity divorce lawyers at www.mtllp.com.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/divorce-articles/why-to-select-an-efficient-divorce-lawyer-nyc-637353.html
Celebrity Divorce Lawyer Will Handle the Divorce Case Efficiently
If you are planning to become a celebrity divorce lawyer, then you have to take care of many things. First of all, you are required to acquire a specialized degree in this area of law practice and the degree has to be of a recognized institution. After completing your celebrity divorce lawyer specialization degree, you should immediately become a member of the state bar of that particular area. In doing so, you will get to have a validation certificate to carry out your law practice. It will also help you in having access to all the divorce law books that will be of great help to you.
In order to make yourself more efficient in your practice, it is always better to work on internship basis and that too under the guidance of senior lawyer. In doing so, you will learn about the ways and methods that can be applied in handling the celebrity divorce cases. Being a celebrity divorce lawyer is not an easy task. You have to mug up all the previous and new laws regarding this matter and apply them carefully wherever necessary. As a celebrity divorce lawyer, you will be representing your client in the court of law and have to take care that necessary laws are being applied to turn the cession in your client’s favor.
One of the important aspects that a celebrity divorce lawyer has to handle is the custody of the child. In this case, the judge will listen to both the parties and decide on the matter that who will carry on the upbringing of the child. In order to handle this issue, being a celebrity divorce lawyer, you have to be updated on all the laws that will be helpful in representing the case in the court. Another issue that may come across you as a celebrity divorce lawyer is the case of recovering compensation for proper upbringing of child. In this matter, you will have to guide your client in certain controversial issues that may crop up within the case hearings.
Today, the market is really competitive and you may find other fellow celebrity divorce lawyer that will be offering their services in affordable rates. You have to analyze the market results and keep your price reasonable, so that you can polish your law practice more and more. Another thing you can do is have an official site of yours, so that a variety of celebrities and other important people may come across your work efficiency.
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About the Author:
Damyel Flower is an exprienced divorce lawyer. He has successfully handled many divorce cases.He gives advice to clients who are looking for Art lawyer,Divorce lawyer NYC,Pre-nup lawyer.To hire services of a lawyer in New York and any legal advice visit www.mtllp.com
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/law-articles/celebrity-divorce-lawyer-will-handle-the-divorce-case-efficiently-119100.html
Monday, March 23, 2009
Divorce – Implications and Reasons
Divorce is the ending or dissolution of marriage before the death of either spouse. People opt for this unusual incident in their life when they feel that their partner is not compatible to them. There may be several reasons behind divorce, but one this is sure that no reason is incurable. People should not decide for divorce in hurry. Because, marriage is a pious lifetime bond between two people of different gender and it is meant to be a commitment of togetherness till the last breath of life.
Implications of Divorce
According to sociological studies, it is identified that divorce is the second-most stressful event in life, after the death of a spouse. It is often considered as one of the most hurtful periods in a person's life. Separation and Divorce is often related with grief-based sentiments over the loss of the desire to continue relationship. These sentiments include sadness, lethargy, depression, anxiety, anger, and other emotions.
The trauma caused by divorce is more painful and traumatic when couples choose option of legal divorce. It adds additional stress beyond the normal cases over the couples involved. For some time, it looks like relieving from a tough and unbearable relationship, but when the anger is over then divorced couples feel the gap in their life and value the importance of ex spouse in their life.
Popular Reasons for Divorce
There may be several reasons of excuses for divorce, but some of the most important and famous reasons are stated here:
1. Relationship dissatisfaction – Relationship dissatisfaction is a main cause behind divorce. It arises when a person starts thinking that his/her spouse is not according to their expectations or he/she is not a suitable match for him/her.
2. Presence of another relationship – In some cases extra marital affairs of either wife or husband becomes a reason for divorce. When they start comparing their spouse with current partner and find that his/her life will be better if they end existing relationship and start their life with new partner.
3. Lack of proper communication – It's true that current world is mad behind money and other materialistic things. In that case people are mad behind earning money, and they don't have time to spend with spouse. This lack of communication leads to dissatisfaction in sentimental as well as physical relations and lessen interest in spouse.
Apart from above described reasons there are other reasons also like financial problems, insecurity in relations as well as desire for more in relation. People often forget that all these problems are curable and can be solved on time to avoid divorces and traumatic experiences which is on the way after divorce.
For more information visit:- http://www.divorcerecoveryseminar.com/
Article Source: http://www.ArticleBiz.com
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Divorce Decisions - Find a Good Divorce Lawyer
On Referrals And Finding A Divorce Lawyer
No doubt you know several people who have been through a divorce in your local area. Each one is sure to have an opinion and the name of a "great divorce lawyer". But it is not enough to rely on the advice of friends and neighbors.
Referrals are an excellent place to start looking for a divorce lawyer, in addition to the internet and local advertising resources, but you need to go further and do some research of your own. Why? Because your divorce is unique to you and your circumstances and it is essential that you find a divorce lawyer who can represent your needs and best interests. The best advice as referrals go is to choose the person whose experiences most closely match your own, make sure they had a positive outcome, and put their lawyer on your list of possibles, along with two or three others. Then set up an appointment to interview them.
What To Ask At Divorce Lawyer Interviews
Formulate a list of questions before your first meeting with potential divorce lawyers that are both general and unique to your situation. Some things you might want to ask…
During the initial call…
- Is there a consultation fee?
- What is the lawyer's hourly fee?
- How busy is the lawyer's schedule?
About the lawyer's background…
- How long practicing?
- Does lawyer specialize in family/divorce?
- Does lawyer have experience with cases similar to yours? Recently?
- Experience with custody cases?
-Settlement and meditation experience?
- What is lawyer's style in court and negotiations?
About the particulars of your case…
- What strategy is proposed for your case?
- Will lawyer handle your case personally or delegate to an associate? Can you meet him/her?
- How long is your case expected to take?
- What are the tax implications of your settlement? Will help be available as the case progresses to help you determine such?
- Are you allowed to contact/negotiate with your spouse?
- What is lawyer's prediction of case outcome (realize no guarantees can be made; beware if you are guaranteed anything!)?
About office billing and administration…
- What is expected as a retainer? How applied to your billing?
- What hourly rate will you be billed?
- Will you be billed for services of other personnel?
- What additional expenses might be involved (travel, investigators, consultants, professionals…)?
- Is the lawyer insured for malpractice (be sure that he/she is!)?
Regarding contact with your lawyer…
- How can you contact your lawyer (include emergency contact)?
- How long will your lawyer take to get back to you when contacted (with some exception, expect returns calls within 24 hours)?
Note The Experience
During the interview, you want to note two things—your rapport with the lawyer and his or her responses. From there, narrow the list down to the one with whom you feel comfortable and well-represented. If you've not yet found that person, interview more divorce lawyers until you do.
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About the Author:
LaneAndAssociates and Jupiter Divorce Lawyer provide more information about the divorce process. Learn how a Florida divorce attorney or a Wellington divorce attorney can help you.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/divorce-decisions-find-a-good-divorce-lawyer-204821.html
Divorce Recovery & the Myth of Time
1. An Example of How Time Alone Does Not Heal the Pain of Divorce
Faye, my sister-in-law, was a teacher and school administrator. When I met her, she had already been divorced for five years. She had gotten the house, the kids, the car - and the humiliation of having her ex, also a school administrator in the same school system, leave her for one of Faye's teaching colleagues. For the next fifteen years, Faye only mentioned her ex and his wife in derogatory or cynical terms. She threw herself into her work. She tried to begin new relationships - all to no avail. She died an early death from cancer without ever getting past the personal hurt and public mortification the divorce caused.
2. Another Example of How Time Alone Does Not Heal the Pain of Divorce
The daughter of a divorced man, Robert, approached me to help her dad recover from his divorce. He and his wife argued over renting out the basement in their house. He opposed renting it. She rented it anyway to a single mother with an infant. One day the renter's ex came to the house and murdered his former wife and child. Robert could not take it and divorced her. He took the divorce hard. He isolated himself from his friends and family and started drinking heavily. How long he had been divorced? 13 years!
3. Time Alone Will Not Heal the Pain of Your Divorce
If time is supposed to heal all wounds, shouldn't 13 to 20 years surely be enough! They weren't. Time alone heals nothing. Andy Warhol, of all people, got it right when he observed, "They say that time changes things, but actually you have to change them yourself." It is not time per s
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About the Author:
To learn more about the divorce recovery process and how you can speed up your return to a "normal" life, go to http://www.SmoothDivorceRecovery.com To get a free assessment of your Divorce Recovery Stress Level go to http://www.SmoothDivorceRecovery.com/Stress My name is Jerald Young and I help divorced clients return to the mainstream of life with renewed hope, unfettered by the chains of anger, resentment, and shame that accompany divorce.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/self-improvement-articles/divorce-recovery-the-myth-of-time--207408.html
The Effects of Divorce on Children
· Legal divorce – is the lawful end of your marriage where you are allowed to remarry.
· Economic divorce – involves the splitting of assets i.e.: money and property.
· Co-parental divorce – is a type of divorce where both parents agree to support their child even though they no longer have spousal support for each other.
Common effects of divorce on children are psychological problems, poor intellectual development and affected parent-child relationships.
Psychological Effects:
The psychological effects of divorce on children can affect children as young as 6 years of age. Young children can develop anxiety disorders where they experience overwhelming fear of being abandoned. Their feelings of isolation and sadness can also manifest through other problems such as eating disorders.
Poor Intellectual Development:
Children of divorced parents usually display insecurity, neediness, irritability and a constant craving for attention. These types of behavior consequently lead to aggressiveness towards peers, resulting in poor relationships with others. A child's cognitive skills can also become poor. His or her overall academic performance suffers, thus leading to low self-worth and depression later in life.
Affected Parent-Child Relationships:
Oftentimes children will blame themselves for what happened between their parents. They also start to question their moral values and become either rebellious or overly obedient at any point in time.
The effects of divorce on children and teens could be negative or positive depending on the child's coping strategies. Teens often engage in extravagant, promiscuous activities and form no concept of an ideal parent. They themselves are distressed about their future career, marriage and kids. But some do take this as a learning experience and attempt to make better decisions in the future.
Here are common concerns experienced by children of divorced parents:
· Financial worries – Children are especially worried about their future career and finances if they feel that their parents divorced because of money problems.
· Marital concerns – Children usually view failed relationships as somehow having an association with their parents' failed relationship. Because of this, they tend to question marriage a lot in fear of mirroring their parents' divorce.
· Role or status anxiety – Children can also try to play the role of either parent in attempts to "mend" their parents' problems. This is considered to be unhealthy especially in adolescents.
How to Relieve the Negative Effects of Divorce on Children:
Allow your child to speak openly to friends, family members or counselors regarding the divorce in the family. Most children react towards divorce by spending more time outside their home. This can have a good effect, but it can also put them in a vulnerable position where less discipline can lead to drug or alcohol abuse. You should therefore still draw some boundaries and continue building a relationship with your child.
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About the Author:
What are the effects of divorce on children? Is your child coping well? Find out from the site of Isha Rowd on divorce and kids.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/the-effects-of-divorce-on-children-217594.html
Handling Divorce Positively
Despite divorce being on the increase around the world, parents often feel at a loss when searching for practical support. They also feel overwhelmed, confused, afraid, resentful, or completely frozen in panic about how to handle the changes in their family's way of life.
Sometimes this fear manifests itself as animosity, which turns the whole divorce process into a battle, with children trapped in the middle and feeling powerless.
Divorce needn't be like this. Parents can make positive, healthy choices during this very emotional time and make the transition less painful for everyone.
Divorce isn't about losers and winners. It's about working out a way to handle the separation with dignity and compassion and minimising the disruption to your children emotionally. This article offers numerous approaches and strategies for making the experience of divorce as positive and healthy as possible.
Presenting a united front: Telling the kids
I've worked with many parents going through divorce and one of the main worries is how to tell their children about what is going to happen and what to actually say to them.
Children naturally fear that they'll lose one of their parents in divorce or that their parents will abandon them. They also fear the changes and disruptions that divorce inevitably brings to their family. Children often blame themselves.
When a marriage becomes troubled, a couple often relies on old habits of interacting, which lead to fights rather than solutions. If those old habits didn't lead to constructive solutions during the marriage, they'll surely reap no better results during the divorce. You may not have been a united front while married, but you and your partner must take this opportunity ? for the good of your children ? to work together.
The following sections cover various activities I lead parents through to help them and their children cope with divorce.
Critical question
One of the let things I ask parents to do is to work out together the answer to this critical question: What are the key messages you want to convey to your children? Consider:
- Your child's need to feel reassured that you will both always be his parents and be there to support, nurture, guide, and love him.
- Your child's need to express himself and his feelings ? this may include silence,anger, denial, bravado, or pleading.
- You need to weigh up whether each parent tells each child separately, or all together. If you can manage to speak to them together, this gives and opportunity for them to see that you're not blaming each other, that they don't have to take sides, and that you're both still there for them.
- Think about the sort of questions your children are likely to ask. ?Will we still see you and spend time with you?' ?Who will take us to football training?' ?Who will we live with and where will we live?' ?Will we have to change school?' ?Will we still see Grandma?' You need to explain that at the moment you don't have all the answers but reassure them that you'll have more clarity and answers soon and they don't need to worry.
From your child's perspective
I ask parents to place a piece of paper on the floor, step onto it, and imagine they're looking at the situation from the eyes of their child. I then ask them to answer the following questions as if they were their child:
- What do you see and hear around you at the moment? - How do you feel?
How could Mum and Dad make you feel better? What could they do or say?
Reassurances and guarantees
I ask parents to write seven reassurances and guarantees that they can honestly give to their child in a graphic wheel. The reassurances and guarantees are things that will help their child cope with the enormous changes that are coming.
Be honest ? don't hedge around the difficulties. Don't give false promises that you can't keep because you destroy their confidence and belief in you at a critical time in your relationship. Give them information but not too much ? give details of things in the not-too-distant future.
Working together
I also help divorcing parents develop some co-parenting strategies. For example:
- Plan and agree on what both parents will say before they talk to their children. This helps to avoid mixed messages, which can confuse and really distress children.
- Look at the benefits of telling the children together or individually.
- Work on overcoming the ?blame' mentally and the feeling that the divorce must be someone's fault. - Look for ways to avoid making children feel that they must take sides.
- Try to take the emotional charge out of telling the children
- Help each parent gain more control over his or her distressing feelings and emotions during this difficult moment.
I think it's helpful to remember that divorce changes ? but it does not end ? a family. Your children are now members of two unique and individual families with all the positive experiences that this can also bring to their lives. It's about your positive and confident handling of the situation that will make all the difference.
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About the Author:
Sue Atkins is a former Deputy Head with 22 years teaching experience and is an NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer. She has written many books on self esteem, toddlers and teenagers and has a collection of Confident Parent CD's available from her website. She is also the author of "Raising Happy Children for Dummies" one in the black and yellow series published worldwide and available from all good bookshops. For more information go to => http://www.positive-parents.com
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/home-and-family-articles/handling-divorce-positively-257621.html
Helpful Divorce Advice for Women
One of the many books that have been published on the matter of divorce that offers advice to women is entitled "Divorce 4 Women". A woman who went through the entire divorce process herself wrote this book and now she wants to offer advice to other women who are going through what she went through. What this book has been designed to offer you is a roadmap of how to get through the ordeal. Included in this book are stories of other women and what they went through and of how the pain and anger could have been avoided. One of the main things that offered by the book is how to get what you deserve from your divorce settlement. It promises to help you to keep your sanity, children and home. It includes tips for choosing the best attorneys and for getting your finances in order. While this book offers a great deal of information it is important to remember that it was written by someone who had gone through a divorce. In no way is this person a trained professional in the area of divorce and you must keep that in mind when listening to her advice.
There is a multitude of Internet sites that offer advice to women to help them get through the divorce process. Once again these are sites that have been created by people who have more than likely gone through divorce themselves, but it is possible that they do not have any training or experience in the matter at all. It is important that you take this information with a grain of salt and not follow it to the letter. Internet sites simply offer people a great way of getting things off their chest. They can share their feelings and ideas with others. However, when it comes to taking advice from others that may impact your divorce you should do so only if they are trained in the area.
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About the Author:
For more dating advice for women, divorce stories and information on dating after divorce visit http://www.WomanDivorceSupport.com
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/divorce-articles/helpful-divorce-advice-for-women-516919.html
Looking Divorce in the Eye
Going through the process of a divorce isn't an easy time for either party involved. It is a highly emotional and trying time as well as being one that is tied up in laws and restrictions. Carrying on with a marriage that clearly isn't working and that is causing unnecessary unhappiness can be far more destructive for the people involved than the effect of a divorce. The most important aspect when it comes to a divorce of course is whether a court should grant the divorce or not.
There are two main basic approaches to divorce, which are fault based and no fault based. The type of approach that is taken towards divorce depends on which state you live in. 49 states have adopted no fault divorce laws with grounds for divorce that include incompatibility, unsolvable differences and an irreversible breakdown of the marriage. No fault divorce is the main approach that is taken to divorce; however a fault based approach is also still used in certain states. A fault divorce can include aspects such as adultery or a complete breakdown of marriage. With a fault approach to divorce there is a general need to provide proof that demonstrates that the marriage has broken down beyond repair. It should be noted however that even if a state has adopted a no fault policy when it comes to divorce a court may still take into account the behavior of the parties when aspects such as property division, debts and child custody are considered.
The basic difference that determines what approach is being taken towards divorce is whether a state is liberal or conservative. It has been said that these divorce laws have made the divorce process simpler to attempt. Also the fact that every state follows its own laws when it comes to divorce it means that people do not deviate from state wise defined laws.
According to a statement released in 2005 it has been said that married couples now divorce two and a half times as often as adults did 20 years ago and four times as often as they did 50 years ago. It is estimated that between 40% and 60% of new marriages will eventually end in divorce. 20% of divorce is said to come from the first five years of marriage and 33% of marriage is said to end in divorce within the first 10 years.
There are numerous reasons as to why couples end up filing for divorce but whatever the reason is it is important that you have the correct help and guidance to get you through the divorce proceedings.
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About the Author:
Jannelle Zawaideh is a divorce attorney in Michigan who offers payment plans to help you through your troubled time. If are looking for a Wayne County MI divorce lawyer or a Macomb County MI Divorce Attorney call 248-705-9354.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/looking-divorce-in-the-eye-706386.html
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Secret Divorces and Marriages Can Be Uncovered
Content:
If knowledge is power, then after you have finished this article, you will be feel like Mighty Man when this subject is brought up in casual conversation.
Divorce and Marriage Records: If there is a issue on a lien on a property that you are interested in that should drastically diminish your proposal or initiated you to persist looking for another piece of real estate. Government Public Records at Divorce Records.
A index of criminals isn't available. It would be great if it was. Anytime you sought to learn more about the new resident that acts so sinister or the guy at work that keeps bugging you to go out for dinner, you could just scroll down the index for their name and find out if they have a criminal past. Unfortunately that index is not genuine, but the knowledge it would hold does exist and is presented for public awareness. In order to find that knowledge you have to find divorce records about the person you are interested in gaining more information about.. This shouldn't be a obstacle while a public record query doesn't handle any confidential government information..
To come across just a few of the uses you might make of this website you could find out if a home contractor has liens, judgments and bankruptcies before contracting with him or her. Public access to Public Electronic Divorce Records is a government website that provides electronic access to records and docket information from Federal Appellate, District and Bankruptcy courts, and from the U.S. PartyCase Index. Government Records at Marriage Records.
>From this point forward, we will let you in on little secrets that will help you implement this subject into your life.
Most of PACER's divorce records are offered on the Internet, but a few must be dialed precisely via communication software and a modem. Most jurisdictions have toll-free numbers available for modem dialing. Most research websites use original technology to access billions of public divorce papers. Explore categories that comprise of private investigative services, criminal divorce records searchess, background checks, monetary services, home and family, real estate reports, business searches and public divorce records.
For example if your name is distorted through your marriage and you have had a baby preceding to this you would need your marriage-records to show this as testimony that you are the baby's mother or father. Credit to the Internet, access to public divorce records is now more convenient.
Today, a collection of public divorce records is accessible online, and the good thing is that both the quantity and qualityof these divorce records increase day-by-day.
About The Author
Jeffrey Wolf is affiliated with: PublicRecordsOnFile.com